I’ve previously taken the time to share some of the things that people lie about on their profile. You can check that out here after reading this. What I’ll say before getting started is that your online dating profile is the lifeblood of your hook up success. It’s the gateway that allows people to better understand who you are and what you’re all about. Whether you’re using one of the apps I prefer or if you’re using some super mainstream site like eHarmony.com, the same rules apply. Keep that in mind and know that developing a solid dating profile is how you can best advertise yourself. That being said, here’s what I’ve got to share on this topic…
Everything I Know About Online Dating Profiles
For a long time, up until about the year 2000, it was thought that human beings had an approximately 12-second attention span. That’s all the time we have to view, internalize, and focus on one thing before it either catches our attention, or we inevitably move on.
But a 2015 study proved that human beings now have an even shorter attention span – about 8 seconds – in large part due to the quickening of information and media messages in our culture, as well as the rapid-fire pace of browsing social media and the web. The amazing thing about that homo sapien 8-second number is that goldfish actually have a 9-second attention span!
When it comes to online and app dating, you’d be lucky to have anywhere near the time a goldfish can pay attention. In reality, it’s probably in the span of a second or less in an app (like Tinder) or a few seconds on a dating site to catch someone’s eye, spark interest, and click (or swipe) to make any chance of a connection possible.
I’d estimate that probably about 70-90% of that first initial spark and click comes from your photos, but your profile also plays a huge part. You need a spark to start a fire, but it takes a lot more than that to build it into a blaze and keep it going. (By the way, if you’re dense, you getting laid is that blaze!)
So your profile is incredibly important, as it can make or break your chances of bedding a fine maiden, and also save you a whole lot of time, agony, and money in the process.
So what’s the secret of writing and creating a great profile that will attract the most women?
Many dating blogs and sites will tell you that it’s just a numbers game (and it is about the law of large numbers to increase your probability of getting some). But some of those sites will suggest that you just act like an unthinking neanderthal and make your profile as sexual as possible, immediately clipping and pasting “Hey I think you’re hot so come over and let’s fuck” to any girl that likes or swipes you.
Sure, that may work every blue moon, and it’s perfectly ok to write “I want to fuck tonight” and put it out there.
But if you really want to meet lots of amazing women to make a connection AND have an unbelievable sex life, I suggest treating them more than just numbers or a hunk of meat.
Scientists have proven that the brain is the biggest erogenous zone (sex organ, basically) in the human body. When our minds are turned on, the rest of us follows 100%.
Now I’m not telling you that you need to pretend to be an academic or play chess with her at the opera, but there is still is a little subtlety to the game of human sexual interaction. It’s a dance, not a tackle. But once you dance a few steps with her the right way, SHE’S going to be the one tackling YOU. You’ll also get to know these girls a little better and actually have a chance of meeting someone you like. But I know, I know. For now, you just one to get laid ASAP.
Either way, your profile is critically important. So if you want my best professional advice, based on thousands of hours of research, reading psychological studies, blogs, articles, and taking hundreds of surveys, here it is…
What Information Is Needed For Your Profile?
Most dating sites have several informational fields that are required for you to fill out.
These usually include demographic information:
Age, Gender, What gender are you looking for, What city you live in, etc.)
Height, Body Type, Hair and Hair Color, Eye Color, Race, etc.
Smoker/Non-Smoker, Drinking habits, Want kids or not, Religion, etc.
There’s often an “essay part of the test,” where you can spitball and write anything you want. These might be called
About Me, Description, Bio, or the like.
We’ll cover these things in order of importance, but there’s good and bad news. The good news is that you utilize your profile correctly, it will separate you from your competition (and there is A LOT of competition), spark interest, and communicate exactly what you want to the girl who is viewing it: to get some.
Instead of something boring, why not use the opportunity to spark a little interest by making your username something funny, unique, interesting, or, even better, slightly sexual?
Depending on where you want to lie on the spectrum of sexual overtness, you can call yourself “Best69InTheWorld” or “FuckBuddy3000” etc. While that may work for some, it may disqualify you immediately with a whole lot more women who might otherwise be willing to hang out with you.
But you can also use something funny that will get them thinking and asking questions, like “I’mGoodAt___” or ” or something “DangerLover.”
You get it – just think of a username that’s edgy and catches her eye, as well as leading her to ask more questions when she messages you.
Not many dating sites or apps have a question about drug use, but if they do, always leave it blank or say you don’t, even if you do. That’s something you want to come out at the right time during the right conversation – not something you want to advertise because it will scare off at least 90% of the women out there.
Admittedly, this is a tough one, since studies show that height does matter to 90% of the women out there. So if you’re on the shorter side, should you lie on your dating profile to get their attention? And if so, how much? But won’t that only hurt you once she actually meets you in person? Look, if you’re having confidence issues with your height, then perhaps you should think about taking some height growth pills or something along those lines. The best on the market are the Growth Factor Plus pills from what some guys tell me.
Here’s my advice:
If you’re 6’3″, then fuck you, because you won’t have any problems, so this isn’t for you. But what about if you’re 5’9”? Or even 5’6”? As a general rule of thumb, it’s ok to fudge your height, but never to outright lie. Add an inch or two (lord knows we add at least that much when estimating our penis size) but never more than that.
Remember that the goal isn’t just t have her talk to you, but to meet you and bed you repeatedly. But if she’s taking out her mental tape measure the first time she meets you because you fibbed on your profile, your chances of doing more than wasting time and paying for dinner and drinks are nil.
So…if you’re 5’9” or 5’10”, say you’re 5’11”, but NOT 6’.
If you’re 5’11” then saying you’re 6′ is ok, since, for many girls, that’s a strong psychological pull. Some sites even allow them to search based on height, so that’s a big cutoff.
If you’re legitimately short, add an inch and then just be truthful, so you’re not wasting your time. Don’t worry – there are plenty of girls out there will not only like you but love you even more for it.
Of course, if you’re comfortable with your height and fuck them because they’re not perfect either, don’t fudge at all and just tell it like it is. And wear shoes that prop you up an extra ½” or so.
This works much of the same way as height – it’s ok to fudge (or cupcake or taco or whatever the case may be), but not to lie. Some sites will have you input your weight, so I suggest this formula: your current weight – if you were stranded on a deserted island for six days – if you just had a cleanse + one slice of pizza = your dating profile weight
But most sites focus on “Build,” not actual lbs. So if you are a little chubby but work out, say that you’re “muscular.” “Athletic” is a great build to put down, even if you have a few extra around the middle. Even “a few extra pounds” is ok with most women (as long as your wallet and/or cock is equally as heavy). Just don’t say “thin” or “lean” if that’s not really the case.
But remember that she’s going to be looking at your photos so mostly, she doesn’t give a shit what you write down.
One very important side note: EVERYONE looks better when fit. (Just like everyone looks better with a tan.) And the perception of health/fitness/physical power is the #1 attractor for a potential sexual partner if we’re talking about primal urges. So if you’re fat, hit the gym hard before you undertake these dating apps or sites. You’ll look better, feel better, and your confidence will be sky high.
Always input that you “drink socially” or “occasionally” or whatever the similar option available. Of course, if you are a recovering alcoholic then you might want to say “No,” but if that’s really the case, you need to go to an AA meeting, not be on a dating app to feed your addiction.
Choose “no,” even if you do. A lot of people smoke socially, like just when they’re out on the weekends or at bars, etc., but it’s nothing you want to advertise. A “no” answer is neutral.
The only caveat to this is that if the dating app allows you to input your own answer (not choose from a drop-down menu), I suggest you enter “Only after sex” when they ask if you smoke. No one wants to suck face with an ashtray!
Most sites allow you to input what you’re looking for, i.e., Friends, Hang-Out, Dating, Possible Relationship, Casual Sex or Marriage.
There are two schools of thought on what you should enter to maximize your chance of getting some of that good stuff.
- Check all boxes. Girls will screen or view potential matches based on their criteria, and you don’t want to automatically limit yourself.
- Check only friends, hang out, casual, dating, etc. Not only will this screen for girls who are just DTF and looking for a good time, too, but it sounds like the honest approach.
But is it really honest? If you met a girl that absolutely blew you away and you fell madly and hopelessly in love with her until you were following her around like a lost puppy dog, wouldn’t you consider being in a relationship with her when the time was right? Don’t you foresee getting married some time in your life? Therefore, you shouldn’t have pangs of guilt when it comes to using either tactic #1 or #2 when it comes to what you’re looking for.
Yeah, yeah, we know – hiking, dogs, working out, movies, good food, saving baby seals, candlelit dinner, and walks on the beach. 99.9% of “Interests” sections are so cliché that they’re meaningless. Do you think a girl EVER saw a guy’s profile online and thought, “Well, I wasn’t really attracted, but now that I know he plays Scrabble, let me fuck his brains out?”
So use this as a vital chance to catch her interest, shake up her brain a little, and make her laugh.
Unlike the other drones, YOUR Interest section is going to convey that you’re different, you’re having a great time, and you don’t give a flying fuck what anyone thinks. Have fun, be creative, and show her that you plan on making her SMILE, LAUGH, and CUM!
Nothing with religion, politics, or too much of a public menace. If you’re going to write something sexual, do it through innuendo and code, not overtly. That means don’t say “Oral sex, ” but “68+1” instead Get it? You’ve got her thinking, and you’ve got her laughing. And if she brings it up, SHE’S the perv because you didn’t come out and say it.
It’s ok to be a little dangerous here, but remember you want to be dangerous WITH the girl – not TO the girl. She wants to ride on the back of your Harley, not get run over by it.
Contrast also works well. “Family dinners with grandma” followed by “Robbing banks without a mask” make for great Interest fodder.
Write it as a list, not paragraph form. Be concise (a list of single words or short phrases works best).
Too many profiles and bios go on and on about your likes and dislike, what you’re looking for in life, your philosophy, and all of that happy horseshit. Guess what? No one cares.
In your profile, you should convey to a girl that you are:
- Different than the other guys
- Don’t give a fuck, but in a nice and a respectful way
- Are mysterious, interesting, and possibly a little dangerous
- That you are looking for FUN and that’s what she would get with you
- That she would be crazy not to hang out with you
- Create some urgency (I’ll talk about this more)
Remember, you’re in charge here, NOT ANYONE ELSE!
Ultimately, what you write in your profile is up to you. Some guys want to be more aggressive sexually (Come over for some Netflix and chill!) but then the guys better be damn handsome and have a great bod in their photos or else they might get no action. Then again, any girl that reads a super sexual profile and STILL messages you is down to hang out so you’ll waste less time, but you get the idea.
Try a few profiles and see what works and what feels right. Just make sure it’s YOU and matches your personality.
Matching Your Personality To Your Dating Profile
Here are some tips and ideas for an effective profile:
Fill in the blanks
Do you remember MadLibs way back in the day? Why not set up fun fill-in-the-blanks content for her in your bio?
Like, “On my ideal date we’d go to _____________ and drink ____________ before getting really crazy and ____________.”
You’ll learn a whole lot about what makes her tick (and how to clean her clock) with that one.
Or, you can give her a quiz of some kind. Multiple choice, fill in the blank, it doesn’t matter. Just make it fun and funny. No matter what she answers, all of a sudden, you’re the teacher, and she’s the naughty pupil. Get it?
Use A Quote
A fantastic way to create a shared experience and establish your own vocabulary immediately is by using a quote in your profile. The girl who is viewing your profile online or on an app doesn’t know YOU, but she sure will know a quote from a popular movie, song, or from an iconic figure, and that will instantly add context, so she knows what you’re about.
If you want a quote that steers towards sex, Google some quotes by Christian Gray, the Marquis de Sade, or Mr. Big from Sex in the City.
Describe Your First Date
Tell her about a wild, crazy, fun, amazing date you’d like to take her on that she’ll NEVER forget!
Bucket List That Shit
How about giving her your bucket list, and then asking her which of these things she’d want to do with you first? Whether it’s skydiving, going to a World Series game, or drinking absynthe in Europe, you don’t actually have to DO these things with her – just get her attention and get her thinking that you play the game of life the right way.
Give Her A Challenge or Ultimatum
If you really want to take charge and exert your testosterone from the get-go, give her an ultimatum in your profile. Like, “I’m super busy because I have to travel for work,” or, “Don’t have a lot of free time because I work and am getting my masters degree.” But let her know that she can earn a valuable chunk of your time IF she is cool AND down.
Or you can tell her some of the deal breakers in a girl. At the risk of being a little “dickish,” you’d be amazed how many girls find themselves going down the list and then message you with a report on if they qualify or not, and why.
Or challenge her to a ping pong match, a dance contest, or thumb wrestling. Anything. Girls are suckers for challenges and the Type A girls will message you immediately, all fired up.
Limited Time Offer
Speaking of being dickish, you can let her know this is a limited time offer, creating even more urgency for her to jump on you (literally). Do it in a fun and funny way (like telling her that your profile will self-destruct in 30 seconds if she doesn’t click or something) so it doesn’t backfire.
A couple more notes on profiles:
Don’t forget the golden CALL TO ACTION!
Ask any Madison Avenue advertising executive or internet sales guru about the #1 mistake marketers make, and it will probably be this: they don’t present a Call to Action (CTA). A CTA asks..no, TELLS them what to do next, such as click on this, sign up for this, or call us here. It’s fundamentally important to take the viewer or consumer by the hand (firmly) and lead them clearly, concisely, and confidently to the next step.
The same goes dating online or via apps, even if you don’t realize it. Therefore, including a CTA in your profile will put you one step ahead of most other guys.
It can be something like “Message me if you want to have the time of your life, guaranteed!” or “Hit me up if you’re interested and I’ll take it from there!” or something like that.
Use a little humor but let her know that it’s ok to contact you IF she is interested. Interested in what? What do you think?
If a woman contacts you, she is already ready to take the next step if you are willing.
Spelling and Grammar Count
A note on spelling and grammer (oops, I mean grammar):
I’ve seen dating profile advice where they tell you to have perfect grammar, and I’ve read advice where they tell you to be loose and conversational with your grammar. I guess there’s no 100% right or wrong answer, but I would avoid misspellings and blatant grammar fuck ups. It’s going to make you look dumb, not rough and sexy (which is what we want.) But that doesn’t mean you have to use “whom” and write like Shakespear, etc. – just don’t have her flag you as a dope.
Your Dating Profile Photos
There is nothing more important than your photos on your dating profile. Nothing. In fact, about 95% of women searching on a dating site or app won’t even look at a profile if it doesn’t have a photo.
The same is true when you’re looking for girls on your sites or apps, of course. The dating game often turns into a rapid-fire swiping and clicking as your brain processes in about a third of a second whether the person in the photo in front of you is “doable” or even “Desirable.”
And yet, guys usually just throw up a few photos on their profile without much thought or consideration (and then wonder why they’re not more popular).
Pay attention to this next part because I’m going to tell you exactly what strategies to use to maximize the photos on your dating profile – including how to turn the photo into an actual advantage even if you’re not that great looking – and drive motivation.
So let’s stop and ask, “What image are you trying to convey?”
You are a rare commodity among all of the countless other dudes she encounters, which means that she better take advantage and jump on you.
Her FOMO (Fear Of Missing Out) should be kicking in once she sees your profile.
I’ve covered (partially in this article and throughout my site and will cover more) what is desirable to a woman, such as facial symmetry, the aura of power – physical or otherwise, protection, and good old fashion biceps and rock-hard abs. But there are lifestyle factors and personality characteristics we’ll convey in our photos, too.
- A little dangerous or mysterious
Once she looks at your photos, she should now that you are definitely not a square that thinks conventionally and will bore her.
- A masculine and confident Alpha male – you don’t have to look as though you’re ready to choke her to prove this but some with a choking fetish love it and request that.
Once she sees your profile she should know that you’re an Alpha Male, Even if you’re not you’re big and buff, your photos should exude a quiet confidence and unwavering vitality.
-You want at least four photos on your profile, but I recommend adding more. Five or six works great, while eight is too much and she’ll be questioning why you’re posting photos like a chick. This isn’t just for vanity’s sake, as they’ll all have a specific purpose.
Profile Photo Must Have’s
- The Main Photo:
Your first and main profile photo should clearly show your face. No dark shadows, grainy distance shots, or hiding behind hats or sunglasses. It also should be ONLY you in the photo. Save the group photos for later. If you’re a dashing SOB, then feel free to zoom in on your shoulders up. Or, for the rest of us, you may want to zoom out just a little and show the upper body, or the whole body, etc.
You get it by now – accentuate your best feature and minimize your weaknesses. But girls want to see your face and eyes so they can stare into your soul (and see if you are do-able). Remember that this photo may only show up as big as a thumbnail when they are quickly browsing through profiles online or swiping, so err on the side of being a little more prominent.
- The Social Shot:
Include a photo of you in a social context, like with a group of friends or, even better, in mixed company with a few gorgeous women. This will convey that:
A) You’re not a serial killer
B) Women of all sorts actually like hanging out with you
C) You have plenty of friends and you’re a super social and fun guy.
Just don’t make it a one-on-one photo with a girl or your potential suitors will get confused and think you just broke up with your ex or something. But a great photo of a group of friends laughing, drinking, dancing, bowling, or splashing in the pool will give her the assurance she needs to click or swipe.
- The Physical Vitality Pic:
There’s nothing more attractive to a woman than a man who exudes strength, health, and vitality. In fact, it’s a primal urge to seek out a potential mate that is physically strong, can protect you, will give your children good DNA, and will be around for the long haul.
Although we’re not caveman anymore, on dating sites, this can be manifested with a gym body with six-pack abs, but also just signs of good health like ruddy red cheeks or signs that you enjoy sports, the outdoors and physical activity. Include one photo that shows you whitewater rafting, biking, hitting a boxing session, or the like.
If you’re buff and cut up, then feel free to post some shirtless photos of yourself. I suggest doing so in context – like playing sports or relaxing at an outdoor music festival during the summer, etc., because many girls will find a shirtless posing in the mirror photo a little cheesy – even if it turns them on.
Other Photo Options
- Your Goofy Picture:
Convey that you’re unconventional, confident, and fun loving by posting a photo of you doing something goofy – jumping in a fountain, dancing on a table, or climbing a tree, etc.
- Your “Dressed Up” Picture:
Like the song says, “Every girl’s crazy about a sharped dressed man,” so post one photo of you in a designer suit, elegant evening wear, or looking dapper at a more formal function. It will be the perfect complement to the goofy, sporty, and fun-loving pics, and women will think you’re even sexier for having a James Bond-esque side.
- Your “Showing Off” Picture:
Did you take a photo with a rock star or famous person? Got a baller suite with a killer view while partying in Vegas? Insane tattoo? Went shooting at the gun range or posing with a live tiger in Thailand? Post a photo of that shit.
- Laughter photo
People look great laughing or smiling in photos – but mostly if it’s a moment captured impromptu and not rehearsed or staged. So have a friend take a few candid photos of you laughing, and post the best.
- Trust me photo
To balance out your other photos with a harder edge, don’t be afraid to use a photo that conveys trust like with puppy dogs, grandmothers, children, orphans, in the library or with a book open, with nuns, or even baby seals. I’m just joking, Sort of.
Dating App Photo Tips
When taking photos, try a few different facial poses. Take the time to practice your smile, your expression, and different angles in the mirror. Know which is your best side and what the best pose and angle is for you in photos.
Ask a FEMALE friend to help you. Aside from your mom (who will say you look devilishly handsome no matter what), the best asset you have is a female friend who can help critique your “looks” and tell you which poses, expressions, and photos look best for your profile.
Do not use old photos – it’s cheating and considered bad etiquette to advertise your younger, skinnier and better hairline-ed self on a dating profile photo, only to look like the older and saggy-er version when you show up in real life. Keep your photos current or you’ll be placed in that catfished category and blacklisted from just about every dating site you can imagine.
The photo exchange is not over, because once you start messaging and then texting with a girl, you guys will probably exchange even more photos. Consider this welcomed foreplay, as it means she’s kicking the tires before she plans on taking you for a ride. So keep a few extra great photos in your phone, ranging from clean and handsome to semi-nude (lots of girls like post-workout photos when you’re shirtless and sweaty) to even lewd photos when the sext-ing starts.
If you’re an absolute stud, then take off your shirt and go hiking or to the beach and snap a bunch of photos, and the girls will come flocking. But for the rest of us (myself included), you might have to get a little more imaginative to catch the eyes on dating apps.
But there are some great techniques that will make you stand out and give her pause for a second look while SHE’S rapid-fire swiping:
Is there a cool wall with graffiti art, an interesting plain-colored background, or somewhere else you can stand in front of and take your photo? Let the background do the work, just make sure it’s uniform. Even a brick wall works great, and you’ll really “pop” against it.
You can also stand in front of a white sheet or blank wall at your home and treat it like a green screen, PhotoShopping your figure onto a better background later.
Hint: those big white backdrops they use at movie premiers ALWAYS work great because she’ll wonder where the hell you were and who the hell you are.
Hold A Sign In The Photo
If you want to use humor to attract her attention, why not hold up a sign in your photo with a funny or clever saying? Or you can hold up a sign in front of a beautiful sunset, on top of a mountain, or with a gorgeous beach view behind you.
Hint: Hold up a blank white piece of paper and fill in the text later on your computer because then you can change it as many times as you want.
If the dating site or app gives you the option, link up to your Instagram or Facebook (not to be confused with Fuckbook). Even if it doesn’t, you can add your Instagram handle easily.
Photos of you eating foreign food, at the opera, or at an art gallery. If you like more sophisticated broads, tailor these photos to what she’ll notice.
Disarm her with your funnies. As long as it’s done right, it will convey confidence and a lighter side. Just don’t go overboard trying to be a stand-up comic or trying too hard.
Tag Your Photos With Text
Get creative, like posting a photo of you cuddling your pillow with the speech bubble, “This could be you,” or a photo of you with the caption, “This is me hungover in the morning.”
Master The “Non-pose” Pose
Too many photos look like a hostage situation where the person is staring into the camera with a look of horrified bewilderment on their face. Instead, try looking away slightly from the photo – but with your eyes still visible. It will come out much more real and authentic and draw the viewer (aka hot girl) in.
Again, ask your girlfriends if you look good with facial hair or not. But some girls will love you in a beard while others will want to kiss your face when you’re clean shaven. So vary the just-shaved, 5 o’clock shadow, and grizzly looks in your photos to give something for each of them.
A Nice Tee Says A Lot
Girls love broken in, ripped jeans and a rugged t-shirt, at least in one photo. Why not use the t-shirt like a billboard with your favorite band, liquor brand, or a funny and slightly risque sexual saying on it?
Well, I think I’ve covered just about everything you need to know about creating an online dating profile that’s going to stick and ultimately help you hook up with someone in your local city. It’s not all that difficult, really. However, you do need to be sure to take the initiative and do the work up front if you want to hook up with someone on a regular basis. Having said that, it’s well worth the advanced effort to make your sex life that much better for months if not years to come!
Now, if you’re ready to take some action and register on a site, then this is a solid option – click here.