Dating Tips For Men
If you cannot perfect the meeting portion of your online dating experience, then you’re never going to get anywhere. This is why I’m here to share some date tips for guys. More specifically, after reading this, you’ll know how to have a successful date and it will all apply to each and every meet up that you go on. Here’s what you need to know if you want to be successful in dating and actually hook up with someone you meet on an app or website.
Date Tips For Men Who Want To Score More
You finally chatted her up enough that she’s agreed to meet you in person. This is where you forget about apps, sites, texts, social media, sexting, and everything else and get down to real one-on-one human interaction.
Scary, I know!
Of course, there are libraries filled with thousands of books that can tell you about interpersonal relationships and dating behavior, so we won’t try to repeat that research.
Just keep in mind that since you are just trying to get laid (perv!), you still have a huge audacious goal with the meeting and it’s not to have a good time, get to know her, or meet your soul mate. No, you’re #1 goal is to get her back to your place, or her to yours (or in the car, a hotel, etc.)
The best way to do that is to 1) keep playing the persona you started online as the fun, edgy, interesting, and slightly mysterious or even wild guy,
AND
2) Make her feel comfortable, trusting, and attracted at the same time
Remember that you will have some good first meetings and some bad ones. (I don’t even want to call them dates.)
But you won’t be wasting much time or money on each one, so it’s OK to walk away from a failure and move on to a girl who is more interested (and horny).
To help achieve that goal, here are some tips:
Ten Date Tips To Help You Meet Your Hook Up Goals
-Don’t meet for dinner.
Too expensive and takes WAY too long. Plus, dinner is way too formal and usually leads to a second date, not a bang.
-Instead, meet for coffee or a drink
It’s WAY cheaper (and you’ll be doing this a lot) and takes a fraction of the time.
-Have a favorite coffee shop, a fun bar or lounge, etc. near your house or apartment.
-I like meeting girls on off nights, like at the beginning of the week when it’s not too crowded. If a girl gets drinks with you on a Tuesday, you know she’s probably down.
-But on a busy Saturday, she may be too distracted, or she’ll have too many other options.
-(Of course, that doesn’t apply if you comb the dating apps around last call bar hours on the weekends for drunk and randy girls that want to meet.)
-DON’T go to the movies – it’s lame, and you sit there not talking for hours.
-Joke with her about the fake emergency phone call (like when her friend calls and pretends there’s an emergency to save her in case it’s a bad date).
-Offer to pick her up. Or have her meet you at your place and then you two can walk to that nearby bar. This works GREAT because it gives you a built-in excuse to come back to your place or hers after the bars.
-Since your goal is to get her alone at one of your residences, plant the seed early by mentioning something that you want to show her sometime. It can be that photo of your trip to Italy since she also went there, your cute dog that’s waiting at home, or your VHS copy of The Notebook. Whatever. Likewise, you can say that you really do want to see her new cat or if she really does have 100 pairs of shoes.
It doesn’t matter WHAT it is; the benefit is that it will become a code between you – a shared vocabulary that you use later as a non-awkward and subtle way to gain access to her private space or vice versa.
Of course, some guys are just smooth or forward enough or the girls are just so down that you won’t need all that and the date will flow.
During Your Date
Midway through the date (preferably after a few beers) go to the bathroom. Text her that you’re having a GREAT time and that she’s SO much prettier in person. Trust me; she’s checking her phone while you got up.
When you get back, sit on the same side of the table as her. It will make it easier to bump legs, hold hands, rub shoulders and all that – the precursor to seriously hot fucking.
Those nonverbals of establishing intimacy with eye contact, light touching, suggestion, and even physical expression are WAY more important than anything either of you says. Pay attention to those, and it will lead you to the path of bliss.
Need more help? Here are 15 basic psychological hacks to get just about anyone to like you (and of course they apply to pursuing the opposite sex, too!)
When you do meet…
12 Communication Hacks To Make Any Woman Like (And Want) You
Do you sometimes wish that girls would instantly like you, flock to you, and even be attracted to you? Of course, you do, as it’s only human nature that we want to be desired.
Thankfully, there is a science to communication, spanning the spectrum from nonverbals to linguistics and more, so we have proven strategies that will help you instantly gain likeability, wherever and however you choose to use them. In other words, use these when you’re meeting with a girl to break the ice, make her feel comfortable, and draw her in.
Once she trusts you, likes you, and is having fun, sex is definitely on the table (or in the bed or on the couch, etc.)
But remember that you don’t have much time to make a first impression or establish an attraction when we first meet someone. How long? Most people may estimate that we have about 30 seconds to make a powerful impression and form a connection upon meeting someone, but science reveals that we have far, far less.
In fact, research by Rutgers University anthropologist Helen Fisher shows that humans know within ONE SECOND whether they find someone physically attractive or not! In non-dating situations, we have a little bit longer to make a positive first impression, but probably only 6 seconds or less according to researcher Nalini Ambady of Tufts University.
With that in mind, here are 12 communication hacks that will instantly get women to like you.
- Don’t smile RIGHT AWAY
When you first meet a girl, don’t flash an immediate smile, and don’t enter a room or encounter already with a full smile. If you do so, it appears to the other person that you already have that smile, and so they are not special.
Instead, pause and look at the person’s face for a brief moment, and THEN flash your big, warm smile. By smiling AFTER you see them and register their face, your smile will always appear sincere, and people will know that you’re lighting up specifically for them, not just because you happen to be in a good mood, leaving them with a strong positive impression and emotions.
- Make eye contact for 60% of a conversation
Maintaining eye contact with the girl you’re hanging out with is KEY to engaging them and forming a connection. But how much is too much? After all, you don’t want to blankly stare at their eyes, which is a surefire way to weird them out and make yourself highly avoidable! Instead, maintain a balance by making straightforward eye contact about 60% of the time, and you’ll be perceived as interested, friendly, and trustworthy.
Another interesting note: focus not on both of their eyes at once (that will leave you a little cross-eyed!) but on one, which will feel (and appear) more natural.
- Everyone loves to hear their name
No matter who you are or where you’re from, chances are you respond positively to hearing your own name, a trait that’s hard-wired in humans. So whether you’re meeting a girl for the first time or trying to woo her after three dates, repeat her name a few times organically in conversation.
- Gesticulate
No one wants to talk with a robot, so remember to use your hands, arms, and other body movements to accentuate and complement your speech. It will help you appear as a much for dynamic, enthusiastic, and energized speaker – and someone they want to be around!
- People’s feet don’t lie
Is she genuinely interested in you and what you have to say, or just going through the motions and being polite until she can get away? There’s a great trick to be able to tell, and it has nothing to do with reading facial expressions, voice, or other body language.
Instead, look at her feet. If they’re pointed in your direction, she’s interested and really listening to you. However, if her feet are pointed away, she’s not engaged at all and can’t wait to get out the door.
- Make a joke at your expense
There’s no better way to instantly break the ice and relieve the tension in any first-meet situation than making a self-deprecating joke or comment. Doing so not only subtly give others permission to loosen up and be themselves without worrying about impressing or trying to act perfect, but also will automatically communicate that you are confident, genuine, funny, and trustworthy – all the most important traits of likeability. Just make sure it’s impromptu and appropriate!
- Ask them about themselves.
Everyone’s favorite topic is themselves! No matter who she is, where she’s at in life, or what their current state of mind, triggering a conversation about something in their life (and especially appearance!) will draw them closer.
If you’re meeting someone for the first time, whether in a social situation or in a business context, try identifying one of their passions or beloved habits and ask them about it – and watch how comfortable they instantly become!
- Don’t fidget.
When people are nervous or outside of their comfort zone, it’s a physiological reaction to start fidgeting, squirming, twitching, or scratching. But doing so will make you appear less confident and less credible, even subconsciously. Stay calm, cool, and collected, look at someone in the eyes – but naturally – and avoid common nervous “tells,” like scratching your neck, touching your nose, or playing with your hair when you’re talking to someone. At first, this will take a little practice, but pretty soon it will be second nature.
- Ask her to do you a favor.
Why? Studies show they actually like you even more because of it. We often are reticent to ask for help or favors from someone, especially complete strangers. But research shows that when someone does you a favor – or even considers it – they’ll like you more for it. That’s because they unconsciously justify why they’re willing to help you, assigning you positive traits and imagining a connection that isn’t reflected in reality – yet.
- She’ll remember the unfinished…
Interestingly, people remember communication messages that are cut off early or aren’t finished at higher rates than those that are completed. Called the Zeigarnik effect, advertisers, marketers, and behavioral psychologists are using this trick everywhere, but you probably don’t even notice. You can use this tip to get someone’s attention and ensure that they remember you, possibly by telling them that you have a great story for them later on, a joke without a punchline yet, or letting them know that you want to tell them something important, like…
- Chicks are drawn to energy, excitement, and enthusiasm!
The person with the highest energy level usually “wins” any encounter, which means they win over the person/people they’re interacting with. There are several reasons for this phenomenon. First, we subconsciously mirror the behavior around us, so just being in the presence of a high-energy person (when it’s positive!) lifts our energy and mood, too.
Additionally, to be frank, people are often tired and bored with their day-to-day lives, so any spark or jolt is welcomed. We also have incredibly short attention spans these days, and people who are noticeable, interesting, and remarkable certainly catch our attention – and our admiration.
- Be available!
What’s your most attractive trait? Believe it or not, it’s probably your availability. While that may not sound seductive, research shows that if a woman perceives you as available, they will find you more attractive and be drawn to you. But that doesn’t just mean showing up physically – you have to demonstrate that you’re in the moment and focused on that other person.
Well, that’s all I’ve got to share with you on this topic. If you’re coming across this without the ability to meet people, then you need to give this page a once over. You will find plenty of options there with regards to tools that you can use to meet people that want to hook up.
