I’m a huge fan of Miami and South Florida in general. What’s not to love about it, really? I’ve been spending most of my time in Miami, specifically South Beach and the Fort Lauderdale area. Since I know so much about the dating scene down here, it only makes sense that I share what I know about it to help give you readers an edge. I love the 305, Pitbull loves it, Will Smith loves it, and many others that either escape here or settle down right in my backyard. Some deviants end up getting scammed by girls in classified ads, but you know the drill, don’t hire them!
I’ll cover everything today from the history of Miami, when and where to go out, the hottest bars, nightclubs, swinger clubs, and everything else that I know about this place. After reading this, you’ll without a doubt know all the best places to hook up in Miami.
Consider this your ultimate guide to the 305. Rick Ross #boss style. Here goes nothing…
Everything You Need To Know About Miami Hookups
Like I said, just about everyone that I know loves the city. Although there’s a lot of crime and shady business, it’s a place where people flock for fun in the sun. Men spend time here away from their wives. They come here for business, boozing it up and babes.
Any single businessman that tells me any different is nothing but a fucking liar.
Now, I’m not trying to point fingers here or call anyone out, I’m just looking to shed some light on topics that don’t get enough coverage.
I’ll kick things off with the history of Miami and the hookup scene.
Miami Hookup Scene History
No, I’m not talking about the Cocaine Cowboys, although they did party like hell! I’m going back further than that!
The city of Miami has been around for more than a hundred years. In fact, it was established sometime back in the 1800s when a few people were out trying to find new land. Not that you care about that or anything, but I figured it was worth sharing.
The first bar, which I’d to this day consider to be a hookup bar opened in 1915 and that bar is still open today believe it or not. The bar is still open and although they legally shut down during prohibition, you’d be a fool to not think that something was going down behind the scenes during that time period.
When To Hit “The Spots”
Given that this city is basically a 24/7 party, every day is okay for going out and searching for fun. However, there are a few days that might be better than the rest. Lots of people claim that Friday and Sunday are the best days to party in Miami. I’ve binged and spent an entire week partying my face off here and you can do the same if you choose to do so. It’s really up to you.
That said, every hour is happy hour and every day is the best bar day.
I love the fact that you never know what’s going to happen with these places. One night you might end up in a shady executive hotel with some strange lady, the other night you’re grinding it out with some rich lady at LIV.
15 Best Hot Spots In Miami To Party & Hookup
This list will cover the most widely visited and frequented establishments in the Miami area. I’ve covered dive bars for those looking to keep a low profile, nightclubs for those that want to go all out, swinger clubs for those looking for friends, and strip clubs for those that want to pay for some exotic dancing.
I’ll kick this list off by keeping things mainstream and playing the tourist card.
1. Mango’s Tropical Cafe
Address: 900 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139-5013
This is one of the more popular bars/restaurants on Ocean Drive. It’s a hot spot for people that like to drink frozen drinks, sip Coronas, and gawk at the dancing women. No, it’s not a strip club, it’s more of a Latin club where the women and men are wearing funky leopard print outfits and dancing to salsa music.
The drinks aren’t super strong but the atmosphere is decent and there are lots walking around in the local area. Tropical vibes, walking distance to the beach, hot women in leopard print dancing, and lots of fun in the sun.
2. Ted’s Hideaway
Address: 124 2nd St, Miami Beach, FL 33139-7105
Ted’s Hideaway is a hole in the wall located in the south of the fifth area which is pretty much a dirt hole but a fantastic one nevertheless. I love this spot because it’s where you can go to never be seen and without any chances of getting caught doing anything at all.
They’ve got pool tables, heavy pours, a jukebox, and just enough seating and dim light to keep it low-key and big crowds away. While I wouldn’t advise getting a fancy drink, it’s a place to go for beer and whiskey shots. Don’t even think about going number two in the bathroom here unless you’re up for prison-style squatting.
Address: 1020 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139
This is another one of those tourist traps that’s actually grown on the locals. Since revamping the place, they’ve come up as being one of the most frequented and wildest bars on Ocean Dr. I like this place because the staff is friendly, the food is decent, and the drinks are relatively strong.
They’ve got talented-looking waitresses and bartenders too. Be sure to read your bill when it comes, most of the time there’s a gratuity that’s been added to your bill. I’d also like to point out that this is a spot where the Jersey Shore spent most of their time partying while in town.
4. Broken Shaker
Address: 2727 Indian Creek Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33140-4429
If you’re not familiar with Miami then you likely have no idea what this place is all about. It’s a bar that has a hipster feel to it and lots of locals and well-informed tourists hit this place for happy hour.
They’ve got fantastic cocktails and the speakeasy vibe really gives it a nice touch. My advice would be to go early during a happy hour and secure a seat. It fills up pretty quickly.
5. W Hotel
Address: 2201 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139
I like hitting hotel bars like this because they’re almost always crawling with singles looking to hookup for a simple one-night of fun.
The W in South Beach is fantastic and the rooms, as well as the decor, are up to date, modern, and sheik. They make a mean old-fashioned here and fantastic martinis as well. You may spot the occasional call girl here and there from the Bedpages but don’t be alarmed, you don’t have to take them up on their offers.
6. STK South Beach
Address: 2305 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139
I’m going to suggest you hit the South Beach STK location, which is located close to the W Hotel mentioned above. Think of this more like a club that serves really good steak and perfect drinks. They have a DJ, valet parking, and hot people posted up at the bar 24/7.
The food and drinks here are not cheap. In fact, they’re expensive but worth it if you can eat well, drink well and meet someone all in the same night at the same location. Be ready to spend $50+ walking in the place.
7. LIV Nightclub
Address: 4441 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33140
The most happening nightclub in Miami these days is run by a guy named David Grutman and his business partners. This place is a gold mine and crawling with hot women every single night. Heck, even on gay nights it’s packed with smoking hot women.
The club has a bar section, full table service, dance floor, and lots of entertainment (DJs, musicians, etc). You’ll need to pay a cover here but it’s worth the price of admission. Be grateful that you even get into the place, seriously.
Address: 136 Collins Ave, Miami Beach, FL 33139-7235
This is another super popular nightclub. It’s replaced a club that no longer exists but it once was a great place to party. I have to say that the new location is even better.
They’re constantly playing house music and they’ve got super delicious martinis here. My advice would be to check it out if you’re staying on South Beach in the south of the fifth area.
9. Prime 112 (Prime Italian)
Address: 112 Ocean Dr, Miami Beach, FL 33139
I love this restaurant located in the SoFi area of Miami Beach. You’ll find plenty of Miami Heat players hanging out here and you know what follows, right? Hot women and single folks.
The bar is typically jam-packed and part of the reason is that they spend so much time padding times making people wait and willing men and women hang out at the bar for drinks.
10. Meat Market
Address: 915 Lincoln Rd, Miami Beach, FL 33139
Lincoln rd is a hot spot and if you’re in the mood for steak and martinis then this is the place to be. It’s a spot that I typically recommend hitting on a Thursday or Friday night around 9 pm.
You’ll need a reservation to get a table here or plan on waiting. There’s plenty of eye candy to enjoy while you wait for your table. Order the Kobe beef, it’s delicious.
Type: Swinger/Strip Club
Address: 3875 Shipping Ave, Miami, FL 33146
I’m a big fan of this club. It’s a place that many swingers hang out at in order to spice things up. I might even call this the best swingers club in Miami.
Although I’d never eaten at this joint, I would get hundreds of lap dances (and I have). You’ll love it, just be ready to be crammed in with others because it gets a bit crowded at times.
12. Tootsie’s Cabaret
Type: Swinger/Strip Club
Address: 4546, 150 NW 183rd St, Miami, FL 33169
This place is the ultimate strip club and the most famous of them all in Miami. I think it’s an old Costco that’s been converted into a strip club. If you’re a football or sports fan, then you’re going to love a hundred TVs in the Knockers sports room.
It’s not uncommon for 200 girls to hit the pole during fight nights and UFC event castings streamed via pay-per-view. The dances are reasonable and anything goes in the back room here. Read my complete review of Tootsie’s before visiting the establishment.
13. Dean’s Gold
Type: Swinger/Strip Club
Address: 2355 NE 163rd St, North Miami Beach, FL 33160
Dean’s Gold, formerly known as Solid Gold is a classy strip club located in North Miami Beach nearby Aventura, FL. It’s a solid establishment with comfy chairs, great-looking girls, and nice owners.
Aside from the girls going all out and being very friendly to single men, couples, swingers, and more, they’ve got a bathroom attendant with a funny sense of humor. The guy literally makes the experience ten times better.
Whatever you want from the girls here, you can pretty much get it. Trust me, I’ve done it all. Read this article to find out more.
14. Fetish Factory
Type: Private Club
Address: 855 E Oakland Park Blvd, Fort Lauderdale, FL 33334, USA
This is a store but they throw private balls that are pretty wild! Yes, you need to be a member in order to enter the parties. It’s exactly what you think it is, a fetish club that allows members to explore their sexual desires. I’m talking about BDSM, leather, ball gags, and other fun fetishes of that nature.
There’s a lot of spanking and role play taking place here within these walls and the walls don’t talk either if you know what I mean!
Type: Swinger/Strip Club/Nightclub
Address: 29 NE 11th St, Miami, FL 33132
This was a really popular strip club when it opened and it’s since become less popular. However, some folks still go here because they’ve got pretty girls and a nightclub feel to it. I’m not the biggest fan, but people love it because the Jersey Shore cast spent a lot of time making it rain here.
You might see Drake, Dwayne Wade, Rick Ross, and just about every other famous MIA celeb in this place. Be prepared for DJs every night, dancing, hot girls, and lots of fun.
The dances are expensive and the dress code is strict, so be ready or you’re not going to get in. If you’re desperate, there’s a bum outside selling jeans, seriously.
Wrapping Things Up…
If you’re still having a hard time making a decision about where to go or what to do in Miami, then I’m sorry but you’ve got plenty to choose from here and lots which I’ve left off.
Assuming that you cannot find something that sparks your interest, then the best thing for you to do is to bypass all these options and just download and join one of the best apps or just try one of these free sites.
Like I said, you’ve got options!
You’ll have no problem meeting people using those, trust me. Be ready to hookup because it’s going to happen fast! Enjoy Miami, as Will Smith once said, “Bienvenido a Miami!”
What would Rick Ross say about that?