Deans Gold Miami Strip Club Review

There are strip clubs, and then there is Deans Gold.  This mecca is located in North Miami Beach, off of 163rd street and Biscayne Boulevard.  Formerly called “Solid Gold,” the name was changed years ago and hasn’t missed a beat.  Today I’ll share with you my personal experiences (based on 100’s of visits) I’ve lived through at Deans’ Gold in Miami.

Deans Gold North Miami Beach

Getting to Dean’s Gold in Miami

First off, I live in Miami and have since 2001.  I’ll get right down to brass tacks and say that there are many options for fun, booze, and women in the adult playground I call home. Living in South Beach has a lot of perks, and the women that reside there are certainly one of them for me.  You can’t cross the street without seeing an absolute smoke show.

As I was stating, there are no shortage of places you can go to find women in Miami.  That said, get your ass down here and take my cliff notes with some seriousness because I wouldn’t steer you in the wrong direction.  I pride myself on giving raw, cutting edge advice for men, even if it alienates some people.

Many of my friends don’t do strip clubs in Miami because the women are so scantily clad at night clubs that it’s just about the same thing.  While I can’t argue with that, there are reasons that mean visit strip clubs.

#1:  They know the women are working and eager to please. 

#2:  They can sit back, relax, and simply be spectators if they wish.

That being said, I’m rarely a spectator. I like to get up close and personal with the ladies, and see just how far my dollar will go.

Dean’s Gold is located in North Miami Beach, which is a little off the beaten path.  To put it in perspective, it’s a good 20-30 minutes depending on traffic from South Beach and Downtown / Brickell Avenue, where most people either live or stay in hotels.  The location also makes it quite easy for people in Broward County (Fort Lauderdale) to access the establishment.  So if you find yourself in any suburb of Miami or Fort Lauderdale, you are in shouting distance from Deans Gold.

While it may not have the central location of Eleven (which is an easy walk from about anywhere in Downtown Miami and Brickell Avenue), or the gigantic space of Tootsies, I find the club the most intimate and exclusive in all of South Florida.

There may be some arguments for Eleven, but when you operate a dance club inside the same premises, it loses a bit of intimacy to me.  Plus, I hate not knowing just who is a patron and who is working there.  It’s a great place, don’t get me wrong, but it’s not Dean’s.

If you are visiting Miami, and want to explore, my advice is to check out Aventura Mall or Bal Harbour Shops late in the day, and make your way to Dean’s after.  Aventura Mall is home to many designer brands and it’s pretty much the best shopping mall in South Florida.

Bal Harbour Shops is much more lavish and exclusive, and it’s 100% designer brands.  Both are within a few miles of the strip club, and if you mention to a dancer that you went there, chances are they will ask you to take them there for some shopping.  Hey, the best way to a woman’s heart (or into her panties) is through purchasing her designer items!

Why Is Dean’s Gold the Best Strip Club in Miami?

For me, it comes down to the talent level and exclusiveness of the dancers. You won’t find overweight, over the hill, ratchet women here.  You’ll find women in elegant, classy clothing that have Strippers in Miamibodies usually reserved for porn. They come from all over the world:  Europe, South & Central America, the Caribbean, and beyond.  Lately, the majority of the women have been Cuban immigrants with hour glass bodies that have curves for days.

I could go on and on about the women, so I won’t even get started.  Latin women with curvy figures just get me every time.  I have a buddy that I go with and he likes the Eastern Europeans, and while there are less of them there, there are PLENTY.  He’s never left empty handed, let’s just say that.

Many of these women are looking for sugar daddies.  You’ll see them on websites seeking out just that.

Related Reading for those seeking sugar babies:

The establishment features a main stage that is in the Center of the club.  There are always 1-3 women dancing.  As a fully nude club, you’ll see them bare it all.  There are three bars in the main area of the club as well as cocktail waitresses that visit your tables as often as you can slug down your drink of choice.  The seating is pure class – all of the seats are plush and large, offering amazing comfort.  You won’t find the cafeteria type seating you’ll see downstairs at Tootsies Caberet.

The two lower bars offer seating and a standing room.  If you are looking to talk to many dancers without a lot of pressure, this is the place to park yourself.  Sitting in a seat on the main floor is nice because you will get a cocktail waitress and many of the dancers will make their rounds and attempt to sit with you and solicit dances and more (more on that later) but sometimes if one of them is with you too long and you have your eye on another woman, it can cause some chaos.

Once I became a regular customer and had a few women I’d connect with, they would always get catty when other women solicited themselves to me.

Deans Gold main stage

The bar upstairs is the literally only up about four stairs, but this is the VIP section.  This section has it’s pro’s and con’s as well.

Sitting in VIP  – The Pro’s

  1. More space.  There are only a handful of tables and seats at the bar, so you won’t battle traffic.
  2. Closer to the Second Stage.  There are dancers right in front of you.
  3. More exclusive.  You will be viewed differently and among a better class of people (did I just say that about strip club goers?)
  4. Better Service.  I’ve always been served faster here.

Con’s of Sitting in the VIP

  1. You can spend more money.  Women know you are up there and can adjust their prices.
  2. Not as many women walk through this area.
  3. Sometimes it can feel isolated.
  4. Minimum charge to hang out.

I switch it up and have been prone to sitting at the bar, in a chair in the main area, and even in the VIP.  If I’m with someone I need to talk to and be able to hear, the VIP makes sense.  If I’m with a group, the main area is great.  If I happen to be alone, I just mingle with the women at the bar.  It’s really just a matter of who I’m with on any given night.

There are several areas in the main room where you can get private dances.  While you can always get them at your table, most people opt for the rooms.  You’ll find yourself sharing a large couch with other people in this predicament, so for me, I’ve just learned to skip this as I see it as unnecessary foreplay.  The real action happens in the private rooms on the left side of the property.

Until several years ago, this used to be a male strip club.  Women and gay men frequented this place but at some point, that idea was scrapped and today it’s used as a private bar and room for private dances.  If you happen to make your way back here, bring your money.  Not just $100, bring $500 or more.

First, you’ll have to tip one of the guys who leads you back there.  They will keep track of how much time you are there as well as make sure you aren’t bothered, so don’t be stingy.  I always tip them $50 and have always been treated like royalty.

Next, you’ll have to pay for the room.  Depending on how much time you are there, this varies from $100 on up.

Lastly, you’ll have to pay your entertainer.  This is agreed upon by the two of you and I’ve had sessions vary from $200 all the way to $500+.  Your mileage will vary based on what you want, what the dancer is willing to give, and how long you’ll be in there.  Use your imagination, and it can happen inside these curtained off rooms.  You will NOT leave unhappy.

Deans Gold VIP Section

The Final Word on Dean’s Gold

This place isn’t for the baller on a budget.  It’s a high class joint where you will find the creme de la creme of South Florida women, and let’s be honest, not even 5% are from South Florida, which is a great thing.  Go here alone, go here with friends, it doesn’t matter – just get here.  You will be treated like a VIP from the moment you enter the place and I guarantee you’ll leave with a smile on your face.

Tips from a Local

#1:  You Have to pay for parking.  There is no way around this unless you get a ride there.

Tip:  valet.  it’s like $5 more.  For $20 you can keep it up front like a boss. 

#2:  Tip the restroom staff.  They are hilarious and work hard.  If you don’t, you may hear them heckling you:

“No soap, no hope.”

“No spray, no lay.”

“No money, no honey.”

The humor behind it all is yet another reason I find myself being a regular at Dean’s Gold.  Enjoy.

Dean’s Gold Hours:

  • Mon – Fri 3PM – 6AM
  • Saturdays 6PM – 6AM
  • Sundays 8PM – 6AM

I’ve always found the club to be best between 10 PM and 2 AM on any given night.  I’ve never done the early part of the day / evening Monday – Friday.

Address: 2355 NE 163rd St – North Miami Beach, FL 33160

For VIP Reservations or Info call: 305-956-5726

 

 

About 

Ryan Malone is a serial dater who enjoys casual flings. He created this website for all the cocksman out there looking for the best ways to find casual encounters in all the weirdest places. You can follow him on Twitter and sometimes find him posting videos with opinions on dating sites on YouTube.

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