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Oral Sex Causes Crash and Injuries in Fort Lauderdale

Miami gets the reputation of being a sex-crazed city in South Florida, but don’t sleep on Fort Lauderdale!  Just miles up the road from the Magic City is the former MTV Spring Break destination of the 1980s, a place that is no stranger to debauchery, lust, sex, and deviancy.  Today in Fort Lauderdale I read a report of a car accident caused by oral sex, so naturally, I had to dive in.

Road Head Leads to Crash and Injuries

Who doesn’t like getting roadhead?  Perhaps some of the best experiences in my life have happened when I was getting sucked off in my vehicle driving at different speeds with different women.  Well, after reading today’s story on Patch.com, I’m having flashbacks to some near misses while busting a nut on the road.

According to the story, a couple from here were injured badly after the male, who was driving, lost control of his SUV and hit a FedEx truck head-on.  This happened last week on North Ocean Boulevard, and for those of you who aren’t from down here, it’s an area where cars don’t drive very fast.

The tourist area, adjacent to the beach, must have been laughing if the reports came out right away, unless they were inside from the recent Tropical Storms that have been hitting the area.

Oh, and this happened just miles from where I went on my infamous Fort Lauderdale massage parlor hunt.

oral sex accient
Photo Credit: Local 10

Another report by Local 10 had reported that the couple was found naked!  This all happened before, wait for it, 7 PM EST.

If anyone can find the woman’s name who was giving such amazing head, I’d probably be interested in hearing it. JUST SAYING.

The male driver had injuries to his private area, according to the news report.  I wonder what sorts of damage he had on his pecker, and if it was from the crash, or his gals mouth chomping down on it upon impact.

My man, if you are out there, and want to talk about this, I’m your guy.  Would love to hear your version of the story and hopefully hear that there was a happy ending to this and that you got some solid clarity after nutting – or did you, not nut?

Only in Florida, my friends.  Only in Florida.  

What will it be tomorrow in Florida news?  With the rain coming down hard, anything is possible.  Stay tuned and subscribe so you can keep on hearing the good, the bad, and the downright impossible to make up, from your boy Ryan Malone.

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