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Dear Louisana: You Suck At Online Dating!

There are lots of people out there that are simply trying to meet someone and they typically turn to online dating sites to do so. Well, unfortunately, there are some states that, really, REALLY suck when it comes to dating online.

If you’re looking to meet someone via the Internet, whether it be for just a quick fling, a long-term relationship, or whatever else in between, you’re going to have a hard time doing so if you’re living in Louisana.

Not only did New Orleans fans get robbed of a chance to play in the Super Bowl (Robert Kraft got pleasure in that I’m sure), but they’ve also now been labeled the worst when it comes to meeting their match online.

New Orleans Saints Football Game

Sucks huh??????

I honestly wouldn’t have thought this, not for a second. After spending many blacked-out nights roaming the streets of the French Quarter, I know just how much tail is running rampant around that area.

It’s insane the number of single women and bachelors that end up working on Bourbon St. and Frenchman St. just to get their shots at the hotties partying it up.

So why is it that Louisiana is the absolute worst state for dating online in 2019?

Well, I can tell you that right now!

Lousiana Online Dating

Four Reasons Why Lousiana Sucks For Internet Dating

There are a few factors that play a significant role in the effectiveness of dating online. The folks over at AT&T conducted a study and that’s how I found out about LA being ranked #51 on the list.

The metrics they considered were all segmented into three very important categories: Safety, Demographics, and Opportunity

Let me explain further…

worst states for dating in 2019
Credit: AT&T Research


The Safety category took into consideration the crime in the local area as well as communicable diseases. Now, if you think about it, the state of Louisana has the highest murder rate in the country.

They’ve also got a ton of people that carry diseases, which to me makes it far more risky to just go around and take people to pound town that you meet on the Internet.

Who knows, maybe you meet someone on the crappy Plenty Of Fish website and you get herpes or some disease that’s life-threatening. Then you also may end up with some psycho killer that’s on a murder spree like the Craigslist killer.

Sounds like a great time! Well, that’s your fault for using POF.com – that’s what you get! No, but seriously.


Let’s take a closer look at the demographics rankings. They took gender, number of single people, education, earnings, and unemployment into consideration.

Given that Louisiana is a super poor state and lots of people simply don’t have a college education like other states and that the employment rate sucks, well, it makes sense that the dating prospects would be bad.

Hey, it costs money to date and yes, you need to pay for a premium site if you want to get anywhere with this type of thing.


What about opportunity rank? Well, that’s simple. It all boils down to whether or not you a) own a smartphone capable of using dating apps/sites and b) that you’re interested in doing so.

It turns out that Louisiana along with Mississippi and Arkansas just don’t have any interest in dating online. Shocker – it’s the poor states that aren’t interested in using premium dating networks. That’s probably why people in these states don’t get laid as much. Just me taking a wild guess.

All that being said, it’s not going to impact me much since I spend most of my time in Miami Beach. However, I most likely won’t be moving to any part of Louisiana to meet someone. Truth be told, I go there for the whiskey, bourbon, bar hopping, and blackouts with the bros.

Whatever you do, please, for gosh sakes do not go dragging any of those girls out of the Barely Legal strip club, and don’t try hiring any escorts in New Orleans. There are other ways to meet people that are DTF.

If you’re looking for a full list of states ranked best to worst (according to this study) then see the image below. Please note, they did not include sex dating networks in their study. If they did, I guess that they would be 100% across the board ranked as best.

States Ranked Best To Worst Online Dating
AT&T Internet Research

Notice how all the southern states are the worst for online dating? Coincidence, I think not! It’s because of the reasons outlined above!

Special thanks to AT&T for allowing me to use some of the images above. Here’s the source link for some of the facts that I’ve shared today. More importantly, here’s a list of the best premium adult dating apps I use to smash locals daily.

There ya have it!

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