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Backpage Orlando: What I Learned During A Conference Weekend

Spending time in Florida is awesome – most of the time. I’m typically in the Miami area for the most part but every so often I need to travel for work. I recently took a trip to Orlando for a convention and in doing so I ended up looking into the Backpage services while up there. Full disclosure, I did not attempt to hire girls from the Backpage Orlando services section for the heck of it. I simply wanted to understand the full scope of things related to this local classifieds website – NO OTHER REASON.

Okay, now that I covered that, time for me to share some of the details on my trip to Orlando. You’ll understand everything about the Backpage girls in the Orlando are once you read this as well. Just take five minutes to digest this information. You won’t be sorry that you did.

Backpage orlando homepage

My Experience Using The Orlando Backpage Classifieds Site (During A Work Trip)

So, I’ll just come right out and say that I think Orlando is the pits (aside from the theme parks). It’s nothing but commercialized restaurant chains, theme parks, and convention centers. I was so disappointed with the trip overall, including the business aspect of things, that I would not recommend anyone visit Orlando.

Anyway, sorry to digress, but it’s literally that bad…

I ended up staying at the Westgate Lakes Resort & Spa and as soon as I got there I knew the trip was doomed. The hotel was an absolute dump. After I saw the outdated condos I knew that I was making the biggest mistake staying at the hotel. However, work was paying for it so I had no choice. The breakfast buffet gave me the runs at this place BTW, so be careful. That was just to start of it too.

Strip Club Let Down @ Rachel’s

rachel's strip club in orlando

I decided to first hit the local strip club in Orlando called Rachel’s. Now, keep in mind that I spend most of my time at entertainment clubs like Deans Gold and Tootsies so they’ve set the bar quite high. Needless to say, Rachel’s was disgusting and a huge disappointment in every facet you can imagine. Oh, this place is a steakhouse too. I would never eat anything here, period!

Myself and a couple of co-workers bought two bottles of champagne and we were immediately swarmed by the only few girls dancing that day. These were not just your average girls. Oh no, MUCH WORSE. Close your eyes and paint a picture of meth addict meets eating disorder (tiny natural boobs to boot). I’d say the girls were your typical bottle rats. You know, the type that flock to bottle just to drink for free and beg for money.

It was an utter disappointment, to say the least.

The Taco Spot

Rocco's Tacos Orlando Restuarant

Which is why we split and ended up at a place called Rocco’s Tacos for food to sober up a bit. This was by far the best part of the entire weekend. Rocco’s actually was great food and I had more fun chatting with some of the girls at the bar versus at that dive strip club. The margaritas and soft corn tortilla tacos are legit AF here! Place is off the chain!

Then I Hit Backpage In Orlando

Backpage orlando section

I ended up back at this crappy hotel in a condo/apartment that I couldn’t stand so I did what any idiotic person would do – browse Backpage.com. Soon as I got on the Internet I ended up on the Orlando Backpage Escorts and Women Seeking Men section. I started searching for girls to see what type of girls were in the local area looking to meet up.

Sure enough, they were all GROSS.

I had reached out to a few girls to see whether or not they were the real deal. One thing I did was reach out to the girls and ask them to send me a photo of them via text to match the girl with those listed in the Backpage ads. I couldn’t get a single girl to agree to this.

I did end up connecting with one girl that looked okay but I had my doubts still. The girl showed up at my door and she didn’t look anything like the girl in the ad. In fact, she was 15lbs to 25lbs heavier and the close resemblance to whatever it was that I stepped on that was stuck to the bottom of my shoe was astonishing. I wouldn’t have banged her or let me touch me even for $1.00. That’s how awful looking this girl was. For the record, I didn’t even open my door. She was banging like a crackhead looking for her next fix and I just ignored it. Eventually, she left and that was the extent of that.

The next evening I ended up back at Rocco’s Tacos for another great meal and I ventured over to Mango’s where I met up with an older lady that was talking my ear off. She wasn’t smoking hot by any means but some of the women there definitely were. However, she was better looking than the mutt bucket that showed up at my door looking for money in exchange for sex. At this stage of the game, I was just looking to have a conversation, not hook up. The drinks were not cheap, but I rather speak to her versus waste money hiring a crack addict off the Orlando Backpage site. Luckily no one will have to worry about this because the site’s been shut down.

girls at mango's

Conclusion: Moving Hotels & Weekend Overall

I couldn’t take it anymore at that dump of a hotel so I ended up moving to the Ritz Carlton nearby. It was way more expensive but I was ten times as comfortable, it was spotless, and I was treated like a king. The work convention was whatever, nothing but a bunch of people I could care less connecting with but that’s neither here nor there. Most of these conventions/live events are complete bullshit. People jacking each other off and acting like their shit doesn’t stink. We all know that most of them are full of it.

The tacos were amazing, the strip club was a huge waste of time, and the Backpage Classifieds experience was time that I’ll never get back – utter disappointment. Thankfully it did not cost me a dime. Perhaps I saved that girl from buying drugs, who knows. All I know is that I’m not planning on going back to that dirt hole city for a long time.

I guess next time I decide to visit, I’ll be using one of the mobile apps I use to set up sex dates in my hometown. I’ve got zero time for these shady classified ad sites and you should pass on them as well.


  1. why would anyone take backpage ads serious? They are mostly all STINGS. Use hook up apps, thank me later.

  2. Looking for a sexy mature woman to have sex with and a good time with no strings attached? [phone number removed]

  3. Hi in Columbia but coming to NY. What’s easiest way for quick clean discrete hookup? Thanks

    1. Ryan Malone says:

      My advice would be to join one of the sites on my “best apps” page and you’ll find someone, no problem.

  4. Ariel, Angelic Adelene, Annabelle, Genevieve. All 1 chic tried to trust her dated for almost 4 years. Got her out of lifestyle moved her to bail caught her living with a douche.they all use fake names. Tried to help her what a waste of. You can not help someone who enjoys what they do.tried to give her a better life. If you got ripped off by her I no her real name an where she’s at let’s talk

  5. You came into it like a newbie idiot anyway. Backpage had escort reviews in the past. You obviously looked at the wrong people.
    There are great escorts, both male and female. I don’t know how you managed to get this put online, but whomever reads this don’t believe this man.
    You got played is all that was.

    1. Ryan Malone says:

      Jean, thanks for stopping by. I always love when hookers who depended on backpage escort ads to generate income come and chime in. It’s laughable that they think this is legal!

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