I love Key West. What’s there not to like? There are so many things to do, places to drink, and people to see. Of course, it can also be a great time to have fun with friends and enjoy the deviancy that goes on in Key West. This is my full deviancy expose on Key West and a guide on where to go, what to do, and what NOT to do.
The Key West Sex Scene is Rampant
This isn’t a place for kids, let’s just be very upfront about that. Whether you are a crusty local with a passion for drinking all day or some high roller just coming through town, there isn’t a lot of activities for the kiddos here unless you just stay on the water and do those types of activities. With all of the gay and trans people frolicking around town in outrageous outfits, it’s just a place you want to really keep kids away from.
With that disclaimer, there is PLENTY to do for the adults. Starting out at all the bars on Duval Street, places like Irish Kevin’s, Sloppy Joe’s, and moving off Duval to places like Tattoos & Scars, and of course, the pool party at Dante’s, there is plenty of booze to go around. Now, if drinking wasn’t enough, for those of you sex crazed people who are looking for more, there are a few places that you can find some fun in Key West.
Key West Escorts
I don’t recommend this route! As you know, prostitution is illegal. But in Key West, it’s down right shady. As recent as early this year a man called a prostitute he met online to come to his house, only to get beaten and robbed. To boot, the man was arrested for soliciting prostitution after it was all said and done! Yep, the story was published right here.
The cliff notes are that Michael Terry Borovik, 48, found Whitney Nicole Mullins, 25, and Jason Robinson, 35, (her pimp) online and called her to come over for some $300 an hour fun. However, when the duo showed up, they put him in a closet while they stole items from the home totaling about $1,400. They even took a bottle of vodka filled with coins. I just can’t make this up.
When the local police arrived, Borovik, who three months later was charged with soliciting a prostitute, had a bloody nose and swollen face. He was put in jail for about an hour after posting a $4,500 bond. As for Whitney Nicole Mullins and Jason Robinson, they were shipped to the Stock Island Detention Center where they had bonds of $287,000 while his is $362,500. They were charged with home invasion with a weapon as well as false imprisonment.
Bottom line, don’t trust a Key West escort agency, no matter how legit it looks. It’s a small town and anyone operating here won’t last long in that business, and most are there because Key West has a huge amount of wealth so a lot of hit and runs like this probably happen, yet go unreported due to the whole “are you gonna tell the cops you ordered a prostitute” factor.
Key West Strip Clubs
There are two solid options here as well as a hybrid type bar and strip club and I had a really good time at all three of them last time I was in town. Many women come down from Miami and other parts of South Florida to work these places, so it’s not uncommon to find women who may work at Tootsies or Scarlett’s at these joints as a nice getaway. Others are fresh off the boat from somewhere else at times. Others, well, are the lifers. You know the type that just hang onto the dream of stripping way too long.
1029 Truman Ave, Key West, FL 33040
This is more of a happy hour and day time option, for me at least. It’s location is a few blocks off Duval street so it’s a bit more discreet than the other one that most people will see you enter off of Duval Street.
Opening up at 4 PM, this place isn’t the prettiest place you’ll find, but it has space, cold beers, and some women. Again, this is more of a happy hour spot in my opinion as late night the momentum seems to be at Teasers, but I’ve had good times every time I stop in there, so don’t let that scare you from a late night visit if that’s when you have the time to get there. It’s a pretty sizable club with a long bar. It’s dated, but as a bonus, there is a liquor store adjacent to it so if it’s not your cup of tea, just go there and get what you need to get wasted.
Per their website, they have Key West’s only private champagne rooms, 4 VIP suites, and 15 different private areas for lap dances. Our money went a long way there.
218 Duval St, Key West, FL 33040
This place was jumping last time I was in town. Again it’s right on Duval Street so you have access to it from any of the bars you’ll be at anyway.
As you can see, the women are exotic here. There were lots of Eastern Europeans, Latinas, and much more. All done up with fake tits, asses, and the whole nine yards. You can get whatever type of woman you want here, honestly. Many of them were very vocal about meeting up after the club closes, so that’s definitely an option for you and I’d advise going that route versus the whole Key West prostitute you meet on the street or worse, online, type of thing. At least you know if something awful happens, you know where she works (or worked, past tense, if she is going to skip town) and can have some sort of way to trace your steps and report her. But I’d like to think that most women who make really solid money here would like to keep it that way and wouldn’t rob you, but then again, gotta watch your back.
This place was fun, they had women selling trays of shots and all sorts of other things to keep the crowd going. A large stage in the center is the focal point of the strip club, and the long bar area makes sure you can get drinks pronto. Teasers strip club didn’t disappoint, and while some of the Russian’s could be very annoyingly pushy, that was about the only down side. Stick with the Latina’s and get a better experience – that’s my rule of thumb in South Florida strip clubs.
You can definitely spend a lot of money here if you aren’t careful. Then again, you can do that anywhere you go out and get drunk with hot women.
After these two places, the Key West sex scene ratchets down and goes very niche. I did try to use some hook up sites when I was down there and found some interesting news – a lot of the strippers are on those apps! I literally met one that was sort of selling me on giving her money not to go to work at one of the clubs and to just have her come to my hotel. I just figured if that was her offer right off the bat, I’d rather go to the strip club and see what others there were, as when there is one, there are many, that use that model. Women of the night roll in packs and share information.
Red Garter Saloon
This place has a bar up front, a pool table set-up in the middle room, and a bar with a stripper pole in the back. I like this place because it gives you options and has plenty of televisions on with sports! I admittedly only spent about an hour here last time, mostly because my friend met a gal here who ended up wanting to leave with him, so we did that. What more could you ask for?
Clothing Optional Bar in Key West
Okay, this place is beyond bizarre but it’s one of those places you have to visit just once to say you did. It’s called the Garden of Eden, and if you make your way up three floors of stairs above the Bull and Whistle Bar, you’ll find naked people dancing on a rooftop. Men, and women, but mostly old, crusty men. Some have what looks like synthetic penises because they are so long, girthy, and they don’t shake or move like mine does when they are out there unleashed. Yeah, that may sound like too much information, but it’s the honest truth. I’ve been here a few times, showing people around, and that’s how it is.
There is a room off to the side where you can get your body painted, which I never really got. Some people do body tattoos and after they take off their clothes. It’s weird, but this whole scene is weird.
Some things to know about the Garden of Eden:
- Security is heavy. They don’t fuck around. Don’t pick fights, don’t be a dick, and don’t even think of taking a picture or busting out your SnapChat. You’ll get hurt.
- Most naked people dancing are men. So if you are a guy, like most of my audience, this may be very bothersome. Most men dancing are old and leathery to boot.
- I’ve never once seen an attractive naked female dance here. You’ll get the tree huggers and alternative women. Not that there is anything wrong with that. Just sayin.
Again, this is a place you just have to visit and see. It’s like nothing you’ve ever seen. Just make sure you are comfortable with nakedness, because you never know if you will be standing around and a naked middle aged male comes up and strikes up a conversation with you while he’s entirely naked.
Advice on Hooking Up in Key West
First thing to know is that there is a huge gay and transgender population here. Know that in advance. If you get hammered, you may end up with a surprise if you know what I mean. I also say this because many of the smaller bars are notable gay bars, and so if you are one of the loud mouths who gets out of hand and says off color stuff, you probably don’t want to find yourself in one of those. I’ve been to the gay bars, some on purpose, some on accident, and the guys there couldn’t be any nicer, but they are VERY in your face and make a lot of gay comments. If you roll with it and just have fun and laugh and interact, you’ll be good. If you are an asshole, you won’t fit in. Just know in advance what you are getting into.
Also, if you are looking for a solid place to stay, that has luxury and location, stay at the Saint Hotel by Marriott.
Other than that, there are plenty of willing and able women to hook up with in Key West. I’ll be back later with more updates of bars and the such, but wanted to at least get a good list of the places you could find sex in Key West. Happy hunting.