How to Suck Your Own Dick

You know you’ve thought about it before.  Whether you were just curious, in a dry spell, or wanted to see if you had the same orgasm that you’d have when someone else sucked your dick, you know you’ve wanted to be able to suck your own dick.  Well, if you’ve got a few inches on your unit and an open mind, I assure you, it’s possible.  Today I’ll outline exactly how you can accomplish this difficult task.

How to Give Yourself a Blowjob

If we are being honest with one another, you know you’ve tried it.  If you have a mouth, a penis, and about 15 minutes of alone time, you’ve dabbled in seeing how close your penis can get to your mouth.  You know you have, but as macho men, you haven’t told a sole, and that’s perfectly fine. Most men can’t finish this almost unthinkable task, but by following some of my top tips, you’ll be able to become much closer at accomplishing the royal art of self pleasure.

One nameless man has blogged about this art, and their tips are what prompted me to write this blog.  I won’t name his name but will just call him “Art” as I do believe this is almost a circus act of some sort and really this is a form of art.  Here are the main takeaways from Art’s musings that I just had to share today.

The first thing Art said you have to do is Be Thin.

This pretty much disqualifies me, but Art says that guys on the lean side have a much better time getting their dick to their mouth because they don’t have that belly cock blocking them.  Art also stated that your dick size doesn’t matter much, and that he’s 7 inches hard and he credits his slim build for his uncanny ability to give himself blowjobs on command.

The next thing he stated was that you need to Be Loose. 

While you don’t have to be an avid yoga practitioner to do this, it’s important that you do some stretching.  The neck is a key area, according to Art, and getting limber is something you need to do well in advance of trying to suck your own dick.  Spend some time weeks in advance of your mission and really stretch down everything from above your shoulders down to your torso.  He even says you can loosen up your muscles by taking a warm bath.  Okay, now this sounds like the plot of a gay porno movie.

After that, you’ll need to execute the easiest step, and that’s Getting Rock Hard.

To be frank, I can’t imagine someone doing this soft.  If they can, well, they are a true legend.  The harder, the better.  If you need to use a cock ring or something to make you extra stiff, by all means, use whatever floats your boat and keeps your dick buoyant.

Then, Choose a Position

You can lie on your back and lift your heels in the air and lower your dick to your mouth.  This works best if you lie on the floor or a hard surface because anything soft, like a bed, will give too much.  Place your head against the wall and use a pillow underneath for a little lift, Art advised.  Another option is simply bringing your head down from a seated position, but not many men are going to be able to be that flexible.

You can also call in someone to provide an assist.  Just like when pro athletes get stretched out by a trainer, you can have someone give you an extra push and allow you to be more flexible. The only thing to keep in mind is they will know exactly how gay you are when you tell them you need help sucking your own dick!  (Not that there is anything wrong with that.)

So let’s just say you can accomplish this feat one way or another.  What happens when you cum in your own mouth?  Are you going to spit, or swallow?  Are you going to gag, or enjoy it?  

Congrats. I just outlined how you can suck your own dick.  Comment below if you were able to complete this mission!

 

About 

Lexi has a dirty mind, a mouth like a trucker, and an uncanny ability to get whatever she wants. When she's not generating page views, she likes to watch the NBA and enjoys collecting NFT's.

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