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How to Use Sex Toys

How to Use Sex Toys – Complete Guide to All Toy Types

It appears that most scientists know more about deep-sea requirements than sex toys. At least, that’s the conclusion I get when I see the Shrek butt plug, Vajankle, and the tentacle dildos. While you might not be a deep-sea diver or understand much about the world, you do know what it feels like to be horny and have no one to assist.

You know what the term “sex toy” refers to, but you might not be aware of all the options. Certain toys focus on the partner’s clitoris, and others help you reach the G-spot.

Regardless, I’m here to help you understand the different types of clitoral toys, such as the sonic-stimulation and direct-contact varieties. Do you know what a lipstick vibrator is compared to a bullet vibe? Most people don’t because there are so many sex toys out there.

It’s important to know how sex toys work, what options are there, and what’s best for you. Practical information is crucial to help with self-exploration and to keep your body safe.

How to Use Sex Toys

Maybe you haven’t purchased a sex toy or used one before. You may even want to spice up your love life with a vibrating plug or bullet vibes. Sex toys come in all forms, and this article will help you learn more about them and what you need. Let’s jump in!

Dildo for Penetrative Sex

The dildo is probably the most iconic of sex toys because there are so many. You’ve probably seen the jelly silicone one, which is more realistic than the others.

Though it’s a more traditional option, the dildo is for basic penetrative vaginal sex and comes in many shapes and sizes. However, they’re generally elongated or phallic. Silicone is the preferred material, but you can find glass and metal ones, too. Unbound Babes has a double-duty one called Gem!

As with most dildos, you can use Gem for anal and vaginal penetration. Make sure you clean the toy before/after use, regardless of the hole you choose. In fact, you may want them prepped and ready to go when the need arises. I always recommend using water-based lube to keep your body safe and prevent minor cuts that might lead to infection.

Bullet Vibrators

Bullet vibrators are another popular sex toy for beginners since they’re affordable, discreet, and small. They’re perfect for sex toy travel needs! In fact, you can use bullet vibes for foreplay around (never in) the anus and on the nipples. Plus, they offer direct stimulation to your clitoris or other parts of the body.

Most bullet vibrators use batteries, so make sure you check for ones that are rechargeable. The Zee by Dame is excellent, but the We-Vibe works too. It’s not really a bullet, but it can be used for that purpose.

Wand Vibrators

The best first-time sex toys must include a wand vibrator because it offers direct clitoral contact. Traditionally, it features a long handle and a bulbous vibrating tip. Clearly, the most iconic of the lot is the Magic Wand, which used to be called the Hitachi Magic Wand. It gained popularity in the 1970s, though it was marketed as a body massager.

It definitely moonlighted as a sex toy, and you didn’t have to be embarrassed about buying one! In fact, it paved the way for most of the sex toys we enjoy today. While the traditional Magic Wand moved out, Dame came in with a Com wand.

If you like a sex toy that works as a massager for parts of your body, The Com wand is great. However, if you’re sensitive down there, you may want to move toward clitoral suction sex toys instead.

Clitoral Suction Vibrator Sex Toy

The clitoral suction vibrator is a special sex toy that utilizes gentle sonic technology to mimic you getting good oral sex. The most popular of the time is the Satisfyer Pro 2. It’s a best-seller on Amazon and has more than 50,000 reviews (with 4.5 stars altogether).

Overall, the Satisfyer Pro 2 is a top-notch suction clit vibe that offers consistent and fluttering air suction pressure to stimulate the clitoris. However, you never have to touch it to your body! That’s pretty cool in my book!

Clitoral Suction Vibrator

Direct Contact Clitoral Vibrator

Most sex toys can turn into direct-contact clitoral vibrators if you apply the vibrating components to the clitoris. However, some vibrators, including the Zumio, are designed specifically to go that extra mile. You get fast-paced, targeted clitoral stimulations because of direct contact!

While the sex toy seems alien and probe-like, women really enjoy how the antenna works to tap the clit to full orgasm.

Rabbit Vibrators

Rabbit vibrators have foundational features that include a dildo or vibrating shaft and a smaller attachment that sits on your clitoris. Sometimes, that small piece is split in two to resemble bunny ears and give you more sensations.

Overall, the effect of this sex toy is internal and can include G-spot stimulation and clitoral stimulation. The vibrator style initially gained fame during an episode of Sex and the City, which aired in 1998. Since then, it’s evolved to take on many forms. LELO offers futuristic ones, and the Fifty Shades of Grey toy line is quite amazing.

Cock Rings

The cock ring is also a favorite. You might have gotten one in your bachelorette/bachelor gift party bag. Generally, penis rings are seen as more affordable than bullet vibrators, and the sex toy is also a discreet travel companion.

Penis rings are there to lightly constrict the man’s blood flow around his penis, so he gets a longer-lasting and firmer erection. Some of them offer vibrational attachments to offer clitoral stimulation for partnered sex and penetrative sex. There may even be loops to hug the balls. Often, penis rings are made of metal and jelly, but there are tons of styles and options!

Male Masturbators

When most sex experts (sexperts) talk about penis sleeves and male masturbators, they’re generally focused on toys resembling the Fleshlight because it’s the most iconic. This is a masturbation tool, often encased in canisters, that feature a textured tube. It might also resemble an artificial vagina, anus, or mouth.

Some masturbators let you go hands-free, but others might vibrate. Most designs try to be as realistic as possible, such as the Pocket Pussy. However, you might like the Fleshlight Torque Ice with its Tron-inspired sleeve.

Butt Plugs

Are you new to anal play? It’s best to take things slow and explore your own backdoor using a lubed finger. You might also get your partner to let you experiment.

There are also training plugs available, but make sure you use a lot of lube! The bottom line when dealing with butt plugs is that they offer a sense of stimulation and fullness that some people like. You can find a vibrating butt plug or stainless steel versions that you could make hot or cold.

Ensure that you purchase a toy that has a flared base. Unbound Babes has a Shimmy vibrating plug that works well. Your sphincter features powerful suction that comes naturally. This toy offers a great handle, so it’s easy to take out or insert!

Couples’ Toys

It might be wise to ask what isn’t a couple’s sex toy. Partnered sex can benefit from sharing sex toys, and that’s all you really need to know.

However, there are couple’s toys designed specifically for use during sex to give the partner control over their orgasms. Likewise, you can find the app- or remote-controlled items by We-Vibe and Lovense, which are for couples who like a little dom-sub or kinky play. Lush 3 offers G-spot stimulation.

For those who want a couples’ toy for mutual masturbation, you may use just about anything you have in your arsenal.

Prostate Massagers

As with its cousin, the butt plug, a prostate massager vibrates. However, its primary purpose is to bring some backdoor pleasure to men by stimulating their prostate gland. This takes a softer touch than traditional butt plugs or beads, involving smaller implements and precise movements.

Therefore, dildos and penises can’t do the same thing. If you’re looking for a sex toy like this, The Hugo is what you need. LELO created the remote-controlled prostate vibrator, and it has one motor for your prostate and one for the perineum (taint). It gives tons of pleasure to those willing to experiment.

Penis Pump

The penis pump rocks! This type of toy reminds me of the high-powered suction tubes you see at the bank. Plus, they could temporarily enlarge your penis and help those with ED (erectile dysfunction).

Maintain your erection by putting the suction effect around your penis through the plastic tube. Then, use the hand- or battery-powered pump and the appropriate band to increase blood flow! Edge makes one that’s highly rated and hand-fueled. The phthalate- and latex-free tube helps you see your business without the risk of getting an allergic reaction.

Strap-on Dildos

Strap-on dildos are often worn with a harness during sex. Archie Bongiovanni says that pegging can happen between people of all genders. In a sense, it’s just like using anal toys but with a strap.

These days, many companies, including Fun Factory, make harness-free options for pegging. There are also harness/dildo bundles, such as the one from Lovehoney called the Unisex Strap-On. If you want to hit the lady’s G-spot, get one that’s curved and get to pegging!

Strap-on Dildos


Thrusters are generally sex toys that look like rabbit vibes and dildos, but they’re designed specifically to mimic how a penis thrusts in and out. Typically, they’re more expensive because the engineering to make them costs more. Overall, they give you more sensation and are great options for penetrative sex.

Do you remember when the animatronic Abraham Lincoln was the highlight of Disneyland technology for many years? That’s how the thruster is for all sex toy nerds.

Try out the Fun Factory thruster, which is highly rated. It’s a great choice for the first-timer because it offers seven speeds, three control buttons, and a straightforward phallic design.

Anal Beads

Anal beads are one of the most advanced sex toys on the market. They feature multiple balls or spherical and ribbed attachments designed to gradually be inserted into the anus for anal stimulation.

As with most anal toys, they are flexible and feature a stopper or handle at the base to be safe. If you’re into anal play or want to try it, Lovehoney has the Sensual Glass Iridescent Anal Beads to get you going. Plus, they look pretty!

Palm Vibrators

Palm vibrators are sometimes called erogenous zone vibrators. The sex toys feature a vibrator that’s often shaped like Bintje potatoes or rounded. They fit in your palm and are applied for rumbly, direct pressure to the clit or anywhere else you want to have pleasure.

If you’re into external stimulation and want a non-gendered sex toy design, this is the one to choose. They’re not phallic, and my favorite is from Dame. The aubergine dream is called the Pom External Vibrator.

Finger Vibrator

As with your palm vibrator, finger vibes could be the most accessible sex toys on the market. If you don’t want to (or can’t) firmly grip traditional products, this works well. Plus, they’re very discreet for traveling, like penis rings and bullets.

The finger vibrator is also great as a couples’ toy because you can provide more focused clitoral stimulation at any time. While it can’t help you hit the G-spot, it’s still a great little tool. Slip the Dame Fin Vibe over your finger and pleasure your partner effortlessly. Just please don’t use it around the backdoor. If there’s no flared base, it doesn’t go into the anus!

Finger Vibrator

Lipstick Vibrator

The lipstick vibrator traditionally looks like a regular tube of lipstick, which gives it that secret-agent vibe. However, the best feature of these sex toys, other than their novelty, is that they have a flattened tip to be slightly more direct. That means the vibrating surface area sits directly on the clitoris.

Dame is the top brand here because it features a futuristic and minimalistic take on the toy. The Kip Lipstick Vibrator has a svelte design, and I like that the flat portion has a larger surface area than the average one.

Kegel & Ben Wa Balls

Do you remember the scene in Fifty Shades of Grey when Dakota Johnson’s character wore silver “Ben Wa” or Kegel balls to a special black tie event? Those little weighted balls are not the same as jade eggs (and I’m not going there). Instead, they’re metal or silicone balls that are designed to go into the vagina. They help strengthen a woman’s pelvic floor muscles.

It’s like doing Kegel exercises with a tool. However, women use them as sex toys because they offer stimulation and a sense of fullness. The ones from Lovehoney are a great choice!


Now that I’ve slung every dildo and vibrator I can think of to you, it’s time to go into BDSM products. People use different terms, such as sadism and masochism, bondage and discipline, and submission and dominance, but these toys are something many shy away from.

If you’re just starting out with kink, the most common accessory you will find is the restraints. They are favorites with experts, too, so don’t think you’re the only one buying them!

Beginners often like cloth ties and Velcro handcuffs before they switch to Unbound Babe’s Orion Restraint Set. It acts like belt-adjusted handcuffs, but you can also sling them over the door for more kinky times.

Nipple Clamps

You were given nipples for many reasons, but an all-time favorite is to clamp them down. Nipple clamps, such as the ones from Bondage Boutique, are the bad boys that could be BDSM accessories or sex toy jewelry.

They’re designed to pinch the nips or clit lightly. Plus, they can be secured to a stylish chain or collar to make you the bell of any naughty ball.


Gags are part of any BDSM repertoire, but many people fear them. It might be the appearance, but you may also worry about choking. Therefore, it’s generally wise to use a cloth gag initially and work your way up to traditional ones.

Likewise, you must ensure that you’re buying a reputable product, such as the beginner’s ball gag from Zhexu. The sphere is made with body-safe silicone so that it doesn’t damage your teeth. Plus, there are some extra holes drilled into it for breathability.

Riding Crops and Paddles

Everyone seems to like a little spank play now and then. Whether the dom uses a riding crop, a 16-inch bamboo paddle, or a spanker that looks like a Furby, these are excellent sex toys to help with your kinky foreplay or a game of shuttlecock.

Lovehoney offers a silver paddle with a large fan following. It’s part of the Fifty Shades of Grey line, and it works well for beginners and seasoned spankers. One side is padded satin for those light days, but you can flip it over to get firm faux leather for those naughtier sessions.

E-stim Toys

I can’t leave out erotic electrostimulation toys. This is a kink where one person likes to give or get some light electricity shocking them. It happens with patches, wands, and specialty paddles.

If you’re practicing this kink, make sure you do it correctly. Understand all of the parameters and create some rules before getting too involved. You may find that you like to pretend you’re a horny Frankenstein or his wife.


You probably associate pinwheels with those plastic things in your aunt’s garden, but as sex toys, they are much different.

They feature spikes (Wartenberg wheels) and are common for those who have a sexual medical fetish. Still, you might give it a whirl if you have a sensory kinky side.

As with all sex toys, especially those falling under the BDSM umbrella, you must use them properly by applying only slight pressure to your partner or yourself. Never insert them into the body!

Sex Furniture

While sex furniture might not be specific sex toys, it gets an honorable mention on the list. If you can bang or grind on it, you may use it for sex! Most people initially start with a pillow, but things have progressed far since then.

Liberator and similar brands make firm wedge pillows that are designed to be put below your stomach or under the back to make sex more comfortable (or to get deeper penetration).

What Are Sex Toys?

Sex toys are often referred to as marital aids or adult toys. These objects are used during masturbation and sex to bring more pleasure. Sometimes, they have medical uses, especially if you have a medical condition or sexual dysfunction, such as ED.

There are various types out there, and they can be used for many purposes.

It’s normal for men and women to use sex toys, but don’t feel obligated to do so. This is a personal decision, and everyone is different. As long as you’re doing things safely, there’s nothing to fear.

Why Use Sex Toys to Improve Your Sex Life?

All types of people use sex toys. For some, it’s the only way to have an orgasm, and others just like masturbation periodically. Sometimes, using them for partnered play brings more excitement to the bedroom.

Many times, nonbinary, transgender, and gender-nonconforming people use sex toys to affirm their identity or relieve gender dysphoria.

Those with limited mobility or disabilities might use them to make it easier to have sex or do specific positions they otherwise couldn’t enjoy. Often, sex toys can treat symptoms of certain disorders, such as genital arousal disorder, erectile dysfunction, orgasm disorder, and hypoactive sexual disorder.

How to Use Sex Toys Safely

It’s important to use sex toys correctly so that you’re safe. You may not realize it, but you can spread STDs with toys. If someone uses it who has an STD, and you insert it without cleaning it, you could get the infection.

Wash the sex toys thoroughly with mild soap and warm water after using them or before they touch someone else’s genitals. You can also find special cleansers online and in sex stores. If you play with strangers, you may want to slip a condom on it to prevent STD spread.

Lube is your best friend, especially when inserting a toy into the anus. However, sex experts often recommend using lubrication for vaginal penetration, too. Regardless, always make sure you wash the toy before going from the anus to the vagina or vice-versa.

You should also think about the material used to make the toy. Non-porous materials are the best, such as 100 percent silicone, stainless steel, hard plastic, break-resistant glass, and aluminum.

Other materials could be porous, including elastomer, TPE, TPR, vinyl, PVC, jelly rubber, and silicone blends. Therefore, they might absorb germs, which lead to infections, even after washing!

Where to Buy Sex Toys

Most people are too nervous to go to their local sex toy store to buy a clitoral stimulator or vibrator. You shouldn’t feel embarrassed; you want to have fun and enjoy yourself! However, you may wish to check online stores first to get a sense of what’s available. You’ve already been researching by reading this article, which offers information on the top toys.

I recommend going to a sex shop, especially if you have a partner. It’s just more fun to see what’s out there, look at it, and ask questions. Plus, these places often have other accessories, such as lingerie and videos, to turn you on and get you horny for the action you’re soon to experience.

A Rundown on the Types

You can improve your sex life and have an excellent date night when you try a sex toy. There are various options, which I discussed earlier. However, here’s a summary:

  • Vibrators
  • Dildos
  • Anal toys
  • Sleeves
  • Penis pumps
  • Penis/cock rings
  • Ben Wa balls
  • Thrusters
  • Harnesses
  • Sex furniture

Most people find it overwhelming to see all the different options. It’s hard to know where to start! Consider visiting sex shops in your area to ask an expert about the many items. Don’t feel embarrassed! These people are here to help you learn and choose something that meets your needs.

Others prefer shopping online to get a new toy. Just browse the selections and find one that jumps out at you and says, “USE ME!”


Now that you know how to use sex toys, you may want to get a few and test them out for yourself. You’ve learned how to be safe while pleasuring your sensitive spots and might even increase sensation down there. Just use common sense to ensure that you’re not doing anything dangerous.

Sex tech has come far, and it’s time to get all five senses into sex with sex toys!

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