Do you get the first date jitters? Do you often approach a first date with anxiety or stress? If so, relax, you are in the majority here! Very few individuals find dating to be a simple game, even with the development of technology taking a lot of the nerves out of the equation.
You’ll be happy to hear that I’ve done a lot of studying on this topic, and have found a strategy that will help you overcome anxiety and avoid the common mistakes that happen on first dates. Have a quick read of this full-proof list and give them a shot next time you meet up with someone for the first time.
Best First Date Tips You Should Follow to a “T”
#1: Simplify Your Game Plan
There is a lot of “what ifs” when you go out with someone for the first time. Try to keep things simple instead of trying to plan for a whole day’s worth of events. The first time you meet someone sets the tone for the whole encounter, so getting a cup of coffee somewhere easy for both of you to get to will be an easy way to get a “yes” as well as take off loads of pressure. If things go better than expected, you certainly can parlay that experience into lunch, dinner, or something else that comes up and feels right.
First date jitters are common, but don’t go in thinking you have to get married or rush to be intimate, even if you did meet on an adult dating website that suggests that sex is on the top of your list. Take things in, and know that if it doesn’t work out, there are plenty of fish in the sea, and let’s be honest, most dates simply don’t work out, so don’t set unrealistic expectations that will just make you feel stressed.
#3: Voice Over Text Always Wins
Even though you most likely met on an app or website and are accustomed to texting for fun back and forth, bringing the conversation to voice prior to meeting for the first time will improve the odds you have a great first date. While texting is simple, you won’t pick up any quirks that person has that may annoy the heck out of you from jump, and you won’t feel the excitement – or lack of excitement, in their voices. Don’t waste time on getting an internet romance started, be old school and get on the telephone.
#4: Outline Some Topics of Discussion
They say luck is for the unprepared, so let’s take that as a sign that being prepared is the best thing you can do ahead of a first encounter. The best first date tip I can give you is to treat this like going into a job interview. By now you should know your dates interests, so do some homework and delve into those topics and ask legit questions pertaining to those topics. It doesn’t matter if you are going out with a rocket scientist or a smoking hot hooters girl, you need to come with some ideas for discussion!
Always go with the flow and let things unfold naturally rather than like looking like you have a list of questions that MUST be answered, and instead treat it like you know you have a full set of topics that you can tackle should the rest of the conversation be dull or worse, crash and burn.
#5: Be a Good Listener
Everyone has stories, Lord knows I can tell stories for days! However, you need to learn to not just tell stories about yourself, but more importantly, listen to your date’s stories and let them know you have interest in them by asking follow up questions. It’s an easy way to keep the conversation going strong, so instead of tuning them out and waiting your turn to tell a better story, toss in a question like “That sounded like a fun night. Is that your typical way to have fun, or what other types of things do you like to do for fun on Friday nights?”
#6: Image is Everything
A strong first impression can make or break your night. Like it or not, you’ll be judged in some way by the way you make your initial appearance. Make sure to smile, use good manners, and look happy, even if you had to stress to make it on time or if your Uber driver pissed you off. Show positivity, and you’ll set the tone for a great first date. Further, be punctual, use proper style and grooming, and dress the part.
#7: Learn From Your Past
If you had awful first date ideas in the past, let’s put those where they belong – in the rearview mirror!
Realizing what didn’t work is the best way to learn what not to do going forward. If you thought a Zoo was a great first date place and it was an awful experience, maybe skip out on that, even if your date is into animals!
#8: Find the Common Ground
If you and your date ordered the same dish, VOILA, you have something in common. No matter how different two people are, there is always something that will bring them together, whether it’s food, drink, sight seeing, political views, or even a favorite color or author. Find the common ground and keep the spark alive by staying on that topic until it’s beaten like a rented mule.
#9: Follow Up Like You Care
Let’s say these amazing first date tips all worked out and you felt a connection and want to go on another date! Now, what’s next?
It’s time to really be smart about the follow up because you can actually RUIN your date if you follow up like a psycho!
Arranging another meeting is key, but there is a right way to do it. Sending a message and saying something about the great time you just had while suggesting another meet up is an easy way to put out feelers to see if your date feels the same way about how things went.
Allow time for a follow up, and don’t message back until you hear one way or another. Don’t be that PSYCHO who messages incessantly or you’ll scare your date away.
Now that you know what to do, get on some apps and start swiping away!