Best BDSM Dating Sites

I have been known to get a bit kinky at times. Which is exactly why I’ve recently checked out some BDSM dating websites. For those not familiar with this niche, BDSM has become more mainstream in recent years, especially with the popularity of Fifty Shades of Grey (watch the movie trailer).

Women have come out and let the world know that they like sex a little rough and they aren’t the shy violets or anti-sex witches that most of the world considered them to be. Now that BDSM isn’t as taboo as it once was, the number of dating sites, apps, and communities has skyrocketed as more and more people begin to explore different things in the bedroom.

Whether you’re a seasoned bondage or submissive veteran, or you’re just beginning on your sexual journey, these 11 BDSM dating sites and apps will not only titillate you, but help you connect with a hookup partner who you can kink it up with.

If you’re considering using a BDSM dating network, give one of these eleven a try.

BDSM dating sites

The Top BDSM Dating Sites and Apps

There are hundreds, if not thousands, of BDSM-themed or BDSM-related dating sites out there. Some are awesome, like the ones I’m about to present to you, and some are pretty bad. If you’re confused as to where to go to get your kink kick, I would recommend you begin with these eleven dating sites and apps that are dedicated to all things kinky.

  1. Fetlife – The best free dating site for those interested in all things kink.

If you’ve never heard of Fetlife, you’re living under a really huge rock. Fetlife has been around since 2008 and is THE go-to for kinky encounters, discussions, and anything else that a kinkster might be interested in. Think of it as the Facebook of kink.

Fetlife has over 8 million members who are very close-knit and open amongst those they know and respect. Beginners can learn about the various kinks through the Kinktionary, in the blog posts, and informative articles and you will be able to find out when kink meetups will be in your area.

Joining Fetlife is simple, free, and only takes a few minutes. They don’t index with Google, either, so no worries about your Fetlife posts being seen by your boss or partner if you don’t want them to be seen.

If you’re looking for the best kink site on the internet, Fetlife is that site.

  1. Alt.com – Probably one of the best kink dating sites you’ll find.

Alt.com reminds me of Fetlife’s older brother. Only you have to pay to use anything that Alt.com has to offer. Yes, you can sign up for free on Alt.com, but once you’re a free member, you’re going to see that you’re pretty limited in what you can do, so prepare to upgrade if you’re serious about using all the site features.

Alt.com has been around since 1997 and has over 250,000 videos, 4000 webcam shows, and at least 10,000 members that are pretty close to where you live. Pretty much every type of fetish is welcome on Alt.com, so you’re sure to find one that excites you.

While Alt.com is probably the best paid BDSM site, it does have its downfalls, which include:

  • No android app
  • Expensive membership
  • No way to filter messages
  • More men than women
  • Limited free features

Do not let those things dissuade you, though. Alt.com keeps an eye on fake profiles and removes them, accepts many forms of payment, including PayPal, has over 10 languages, private messaging, and is just a very well-versed community of kinksters.

  1. Reddit BDSM – A great community for stories, fantasies, and online fun.

If you’re the type that is still learning about BDSM, or you’re not quite ready to take that leap into meeting someone and actually doing all the kinky things, Reddit has a subreddit for all things BDSM. There is a large variety of kinks represented and users of all genders are there.

Nobody on Reddit posts pictures of themselves, so the majority of what is going on is pure fantasy and storytelling. And the chances of actually finding someone near you is pretty slim, but I don’t think these people really want to meet up anyway.

  1. AdultFriendFinder – One of the best all over dating site on the web.

AdultFriendFinder is the very first of the sex date websites, having been founded in 1996 and winning multiple awards for their services. Friend Finder for adults offers up chatting, messaging, email capabilities, cam shows, and advanced search features that can really narrow down what you’re looking for. And you’ll probably find it there because their membership base is very large.

AFF.com was the victim of two security breaches in 2015 and 2016, but they have since revamped their practices and the site is more secure than its ever been. Just beware of two things. First, there are a lot of dead profiles that aren’t being used so someone you match with might have left a long time ago.

Secondly, Adult Friend Finder has a large number of girls trying to sell their services now that Craigslist’s personals sections have been shut down. If you’re into that, great, but if you’re not about meeting with a paid sex worker, you’ll want to thoroughly vet a potential partner.

That said, it’s still one of the best and biggest hookup databases in the entire world!

  1. BDSM.com – Social networking for the BDSM community.

BDSM.com is one of the original fetish sites that was created in 1996 and still has over 1 million active members that post daily. If you want an easy site to use, BDSM.com is that. And they have over 300,000 BDSM groups to choose from.

Whether you want live-action, such as webcams, chatrooms, or instant messaging, or you want to read more about the various kinks, BDSM.com will satisfy that urge. Membership is paid, but you can pay for it a variety of ways. Just don’t think you’ll find many members close to you if you live in a super-small town, the membership numbers just aren’t there for little towns.

  1. BDSM Singles-Small dating site for kinksters.

Not everyone that is into kink is looking for a strictly sexual relationship. Some people want to find a real, romantic partner that is also interested in exploring their wild sexual sides. That is the niche BDSM Singles was looking to fill and they succeed…to a point.

BDSM Singles has a small membership base, which means you might have trouble finding a romantic kinkster near you, especially if you live in a small town. You’ll also notice that many of the female members are looking for Dom’s or Master’s, and not so much an equal. You’re also going to be bogged down with advertising, which can get frustrating when you’re just trying to get your groove on.

It isn’t a bad site, though, and you may have success, so give it a try.

  1. Bondage.com – Free site dedicated to bondage.

Bondage.com is a great, free resource for newbies as well as those that are experienced in the world of bondage. There are over 78,000 pictures, videos, and stories for you to experience as well as over 1 million members, 10,000 of which are active at any given time. It is a paid site, but they take all forms of payment, so no worries there.

  1. Fetster.com – Tasteful dating, directory, and chat app.

What I really like about Fetster is that you can use it without looking like a weirdo. Fetster is tasteful looking and doesn’t look like the typical kink app. This online community is free to join and use, there is nothing currently that they charge for.

You will be required to answer a lengthy application to join and the site owners take safety seriously, so they require a photo ID of their members to ensure everyone is on the up-and-up. There are many fun things to do on Fetster and with unlimited messaging, you’re going to enjoy spending time there.

It is a smaller community, so don’t expect a ton of members near you, and it is more of a community site than strictly a dating app, but it is possible to find a match!

  1. Fetish.com A unique BDSM dating site.

People from all over the globe use Fetish.com for their kink needs. Everyone in every type of kink situation is welcome and those new to the kink community will find the site welcoming to them as well. I especially like that you can identify what your role is in a relationship and search through the site for a match to your kink role identification.

When I was looking for something bad, I honestly couldn’t find it with Fetish.com, so trust me, this is a site you’re going to want to check out.

  1. BDSMDate.com – Made for the couples of BDSM.

If you’re a dom, sub, switch, or just looking for a play partner, BDSMDate might be a good option for you. There are two versions of the site, one for the U.S. and one for the U.K., so if you’re traveling and feeling kinky, you should be able to find a partner no matter wherever you are.

Before becoming a paid member, BDSM Date allows you to have a three-day trial to make sure you like what they have to offer. They do use a recurring payment method, so if you’re not into what they offer, remember you have to cancel your membership.

It’s rare, but on BDSMDate there are more women than men, so if you’re a guy, your chances are pretty damn good that you’ll find the right woman for you.

  1. MatchBDSM.com – Safe site for kink.

If you want a safe site for BDSM, then look no further than MatchBDSM. Secured with Comodo and the ability to set your profile to “invisible”, MatchBDSM takes the safety of its members seriously. The membership is also cheap and affordable, and searches are free to initiate, which is rare in a dating site of any kind.

How to Meet People on BDSM Sites

Dating on a BDSM site is similar to any other type of dating site. You want to make a profile, be friendly and fun, and only start the dirty talk after you’re sure the other person or people are ok with it. Never just dive into the filth straight away, that is a huge red-flag and turn-off for many people.

You should also make sure that your profile is open and honest. Never list something you’re not ready to try out and don’t hide things about yourself that another person may find as a deal-breaker. If you do, you’re just asking for trouble, and you’d never want anyone to do that to you.

Finally, the best thing you can do when on a BDSM site is to be respectful. People don’t want someone who is sanctimonious, negative, or rude. Plus, that’s a great way to get yourself banned from a site.

Staying Safe in the Kink Dating World

The kink world can have a lot of weirdos in it. I mean, this isn’t your regular vanilla sex, amiright? So, when you’re going to meet a potential date or partner, the best thing you can do is agree to meet in public. Don’t go off together the first time, you never know what can happen.

Another mistake people make in the kink dating world is revealing too much about themselves. A real name, phone number, or email address can easily be researched in Google and before you know it, you’ve got someone trying to blackmail you or reveal your interests to those you love.

No matter what you do and what site you use, engage with potential partners. Keep asking questions. If anything feels strange, it probably is.

Trust your gut, you’re all you’ve got! Well, you’ve got me and SexDatingApp.com too, don’t forget that!

Ryan Malone

About 

Ryan Malone is a serial dater who enjoys casual flings. He created this website for all the cocksman out there looking for the best ways to find casual encounters in all the weirdest places. You can follow him on Twitter and sometimes find him posting videos with opinions on dating sites on YouTube.

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