Being confident in bed and capitalizing on sexual desire well are important. If you’re here, then you’ve likely realized this and want to ensure that you have the equation sorted.
If that’s the case, then you’ve taken the best first step to better sexual experiences, which should make a huge difference in the experience that you and your partner have.
Realistically, sex isn’t as innate as many men may think. Sure, some may be able to strike it lucky, but even they can often appreciate that it’s something you get better at with time and effort.
Understanding how your partner’s body responds to different stimuli, when to maintain eye contact, and even how your own body works are all examples of things that can help you become more sexually confident than ever before.
So, how do you make these adjustments? Well, you listen to all the insights below, for starters.
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Improve Your Sexual Confidence Without Being Arrogant
Lacking self-confidence is often not necessarily based on actual experiences. Sometimes, there’s no reason to be worried, but the view of sex as a make-or-break kind of situation makes it feel heavy.
In other cases, your sex life so far hasn’t been the best, and understandably so, you get down on yourself. The first step you need to take for your sexual confidence is to believe that you can have great sex.
Sure, it won’t happen overnight, but you can work at it and you can get better. If you don’t believe in your goal, how are you going to reach it?
Once you believe that you can turn your sexual experience around, it’s time to start looking at the options out there to help you achieve that. Read on to find out about them!
Understand the Differences Between What You May Watch and How Real Sexual Pleasure Works
Expectations can be a huge problem for sexual confidence. You would think that this is referring to those of your partner, but in reality, yours may be an even bigger problem.
Whether it’s in the standard movies or the pornographic variations, they often don’t reflect what real-life sex is like.
For example, porn will tell you that it takes a huge penis to please a woman while reality will tell you that most women don’t want one near them because it hurts.
Remember that these people are all actors. The sexual expression you see is often for the camera. It’s important to understand that these films are meant to be entertaining and not educational.
The best way to find out how to please your sexual partner is to communicate with the person to find out where the likes and dislikes lie.
Focus on Being the Best You Can Be to Your Sexual Partner
This is where many men falter. A happier partner will inherently see you feel confident in bed. If you looked at that statement and made it purely sexual, that’s a part of the challenge.
The idea here is that your sex should be a reflection of how you feel about the person. Therefore, the way you act outside of the bedroom is just as important. If you have a good partner that you are kind and considerate to, that person will be very set on rewarding you.
Try to make this the norm in your relationship. It’s not a matter of treating someone well so you can get what you want. You’d be surprised how good it feels to make someone’s day when you care for the person.
As this continues, you’ll find that your partner becomes more into you than ever, which subliminally makes it that much easier to experience pleasure, which translates to greater sexual confidence.
Consider Using Products That Are Meant to Enhance Sexual Satisfaction
It’s OK to accept help in the bedroom if it makes you more sexually confident. After all, you are here reading this, aren’t you? There are more products out there than you know what to do with and they can all lead to much better sex.
Contrary to popular belief, sex toys are OK to use. They don’t need to be viewed as this thing that leaves you feeling self-conscious and inadequate as a man. It’s not like you’re replacing sex with them. You’re simply making them a part of the festivities, which is fine.
Beyond sex toys, enhancers are great for improving sexual confidence too! For example, you may find that you cum too soon. Why not try a delay spray or a ring around the base of the penis that keeps it harder for longer? It’s the objective of pleasing your partner that matters after all, and not necessarily the route used to get there.
On the other side of the fence, your partner could be the one struggling. Women may be affected by different factors, which makes arousal not as straightforward as it should be.
Arousal gel or stimulating cream can help to give that extra oomph that allows her to reach climax, which will make the experience more satisfying for her. Sex is a two-way street at the end of the day.
Perhaps Dirty Talk Is the Perfect Addition to Your Sex Lives
Dirty talk can feel weird to wrap your head around, but once you start to get the hang of it, your sexual confidence stands to get quite the boost. This one is more for your partner than it is for you, but it does help to make sex that much better.
As a man, you’ll likely see things that are enough to do it for you. Women are quite different, however, and respond better to words. It’s why men are more likely to be turned on by porn, but women are more likely to be turned on by erotica novels.
Remember that women are more drawn to the emotional side of the intimacy scale, and being able to master that will undoubtedly make you more confident in bed.
With all that being said, remember that dirty talk is not meant to be demeaning. Instead, it’s supposed to be something arousing. A good place to start with the features of your partner that you like.
Just remember to be appreciative beyond the context of the bedroom. The last thing you want your partner to think is that you’re only in compliment mode when you think you can get some sex out of it.
Work on Becoming Comfortable with Your Own Body
A lot of sexual confidence will come from appreciating your body image, which is something a lot of men struggle with. Realistically, there is a societal standard of attractiveness, and it’s hard to dismiss it, especially when you see how women react to the said standard.
The best advice you can get here is to take care of yourself. Eat well, exercise, and sleep enough. Why not become the most attractive version of yourself possible? You’ll often find that doing so improves your sexual health, stamina, and general capabilities in the bedroom, which is always a win.
Beyond the physical side of things, understanding what you respond to will also help you to be sexually confident since you can then incorporate that information into whatever you do with your partner.
Remember how sex is a lot about communication? Well, it helps your partner to know what you like. The more you are pleased, the more you will be driven to please, and the same applies to the other side, which means it’s a cycle of pleasure to enjoy.
Do Not Discount the Value of Foreplay in Sexual Arousal
Men can get into the swing of things very quickly, which is as much of a disadvantage as it is an advantage. Sex doesn’t necessarily work for women in the same way.
In general, women need to work their way up to it, and who knows? You may find that the anticipation that foreplay builds has a much greater positive impact on you than you imagined.
Take the time to be close to each other and enjoy the sheer intimacy that comes with foreplay. It’s not even always physical. Foreplay can begin well before sex with your saying things you know will turn your partner on.
When done right, you’ll find that you get a much better response to everything you do, which makes sex a lot more enjoyable.
See a Sex Therapist if Needed
Sometimes, you can’t overcome the barriers to sex on your own or with the assistance of your partner, and this is why there are professionals in the industry. Remember that you don’t know what you don’t know.
Exploring sex with a therapist can help you both learn more about the act as well as each other, which is a net positive for the bedroom.
The Bottom Line
While sex can be great, you should never take things such as preparation, communication, and practice for granted. You’ll find that you can develop a ton of confidence from seeing your partner pleased.
Therefore, while it is important to believe in yourself and adjust your perception of yourself, you also want to pay attention to your partner. Treat the person well and focus on their pleasure, and not only will you be more confident, but you’ll like sex more too!