There are two things I cannot and will not live without. One is my coffee and the other is porn. While I prefer to simply meet some local hottie to get off, occasionally, I need to turn to porn. I had no shame either, hitting the Starbucks and sipping an Iced Pumpkin Spiced Latte while watching my favorite tube site clips. I’m not alone here with this and if you tell me any different then you’re a liar.
Starbucks Bans Streaming Porn On Wifi, YouPorn Answers By Banning All Their Products!
Well, you can kiss your porn streaming at Starbucks goodbye! They’ve recently banned and blocked all porn sites within their network. Horrible news – I know!
There is an adult company and tube site that decided to take matters into their own hands with a smart response. They decided to ban the consumption of Starbucks coffee in all offices.
You heard that right! YouPorn apparently sent a memo out to all employees located all over the world announcing that they are officially putting a ban on all Starbucks products come 1/1/2019.
They updated their company policy which reads,
In light of the news that Starbucks has blocked customers from searching and viewing adult content within their establishments, Starbucks products will officially be banned from the YouPorn offices, effective January 1st, 2019. See your direct manager for any questions.
The letter was signed by the Vice President of YouPorn. I’d like to call this porn revenge or revenge porn of the legal kind. Kudos to YouPorn for sticking up for all streamers out there.
That said, I’m officially boycotting Starbucks coffee as well and I encourage you all to do the same. We cannot let corporate America dictate our smut streaming ways. I’m ashamed to say that I consumed so many Venti French Vanilla iced coffees over the years. Adios Starbucks, Dunkin’ Donuts, up your bandwidth, because here I come – pun intended!
Oh, I guess the good news is that I can still go there to pick up horny girls looking to have sex. Heck, maybe it’s time for me to try and pull it off in the bathroom before calling it quits at the end of the year. I guess I’ve got some goals set now before the new year. Time for me to get searching through my dating apps. I can guarantee that I’ll be able to find some girl on the Fling.com network willing to fulfill my goals before year end.
My final thought here is that I would not be the least bit surprised if Starbucks CEO and other executives frequently indulge in watching porn behind closed doors. My guess is that they’re into the fetish or taboo categories. It’s always the ones you don’t suspect.
I think I speak for all YouPorn users here and I know you’re going to voluntarily do so, so why not, “Hey Starbucks, go fist yourself!” and if you don’t know what that is, just search for it on YouPorn, you’ll figure it out.